486b. Thu 27/9/18: The Junction Tavern, London

Beer: Wye Valley Hereford Pale Ale 4.0%

Pre-gig drinks. Me and a couple of uni mates are off to see La Luz at The Dome in Tufnell Park and hopefully pick up AW at some point. I have a weird, painful foot condition, but manage to walk at a decent speed, as long as I don't mind looking like a moron.

The Junction's a perfectly acceptable alternative to the usually too-crowded Pineapple, the awful Bull and Gate or the godawful Assembly House.

There's some discussion between me and my uni mates about getting older and the dreadful-looking refurbishment of The Sir Richard Steele pub nearby. We've not been since its decor has been sacrificed, though pictures suggest a level of DIY most discerning folk would call "vandalism". The website now calls the place "pub and dining". We move onto music and specifically, something called Jazz Club, which, this evening, is only a crazy idea, but will probably turn into a club about jazz.

334. Wed 14/3/18: Tabanco El Pasaje, Jerez de la Frontera, Spain

Beer: Alhambra 5.0%

With the sea apparently too rough for the ferry to El Puerto de Santa Maria (lightweight Iberians, no wonder they lost at Trafalgar), we go on an excursion to Jerez on the train. Big sherry destination Jerez, of course, although you wouldn’t think it in this drab, rainy, weather.

As with many old towns, the centre is quite a trek from the station – and from there, we pop along to the tourist information – on to an underwhelming cathedral – and decide against the Tio Pepe tour. We really don’t do/know sherry. We don’t do flamenco either, not really, so are well out of our depth when we eventually get to Tabanco El Pasaje; the quintessential sherry/flamenco establishment according to the Jerez specific “10 best bars” bumph we got off The Guardian or some such.

It’s a fantastic place, naturally. We feel obliged to sample the sherry but, again, we have no idea; we order different varieties, sip away, make quiet self-conscious “yeh, s’nice” noises… and then the artsy folk up by the tiny little stage start on the flamenco.

And it’s spectacular too – especially the lass doing the dancing and clapping and that. She’s petite, pretty and terrifying… staring out to the audience like she wants to smash our teeth in. Isn’t it a bit early for that much concentrated duende?

We are out of our depth. We stay for another drink – but it's beer for us. We’re lousy tourists with very little understanding of what’s on offer. Our appreciation, my notes cackhandedly suggest, is akin to one who visits the Louvre and appreciates the painting of the skirting boards. We don’t know what we’re dealing with – fascinating though it undoubtedly is.

    

416. Sun 13/5/18: The New Members Bar, Lord’s Pavilion, London

Beer: Marston's Pedigree 4.5%

Middlesex v Gloucestershire, day three

With less than ten minutes to go until the luncheon interval, the New Members’ Bar is strangely empty.

Three bar persons wait to serve me. I order a pint of Pedigree and a pack of salt and vinegar crisps.

While I’m in the bar I hear a dull roar (or yawn) of appreciation, and find out that Ollie Rayner has taken the wicket of Graeme van Buuren. We like Ollie, he’s a tryer.

282. Sat 6/1/18: The Old George, Newcastle upon Tyne

Beer: Three Brothers Ruby Resolution 4.6%, Thames London Porter 5.0%

Pre-match pints at The Old George. The pub is reasonably empty as we take a table and start fielding texts from those approaching NUT.

Luke, Wilf and Helen are the only ones likely to be here early enough to meet us – and we move to another bar in the (old-fashioned – oldest in Newcastle – sprawling pub). This bar, just opened to cope with the overflow, is very cold; though the room is dominated by a huge bygone fireplace. It’d be lovely if such a bona fide historic feature of this hostelry could be utilised.

The barman listens to our murmurings and explains he’s whacked the heating up to “full”. It’s not likely to get cosy anytime soon.

Pages arrive – and eat - and Wilf predicts Town will win 10-1. Otherwise, because we’re in unfamiliar territory, because we fear the Town might get thrashed and because the crowd will be five times bigger than a big crowd in Luton (reaching our seats, in the ridiculously large stadium, might prove a challenge in itself) – we’re all a bit tense.

The beer is good stuff – particularly the porter.

150. Fri 18/8/17: The Great Northern, Luton

Beer: St Austell Tribute 4.0%

Don’t like Tribute, it’s too sweet; I do like this pub though. There was rumour that this place was closing too, a few months ago, but thankfully, apparently, there’s new management in. Same old (predominantly aged Irish) clientele. The place is nicely, sparsely, populated. Pete Savage is at the bar, in conversation with other people, and we decide to vocally bemoan his “blanking” us… retrospectively we discussed how rude of us that was.

The last orders bell goes at 11pm sharp – and Leighton calls it a day. We go back for one last look in The Brickies.

 

485b. Mon 24/9/18: Rei da Poncah, Funchal, Portugal

Beer: Madeira Brewery Coral 5.1%

We're having a pre-dinner drink at this small local bar just down the street from the restaurant. Coral beer is the only mass-produced beer on the island-it's everywhere. It's OK as pale bittery lagers go, the strength helps. The other local drink of the island is Poncho, an alcoholic fruit juice basically, the strong lemon version is the most popular. If you remember Hooch from the '90s and make it double the ABV you are about there. Definitely not a fan. There is a fledgling craft beer scene (all bottled) in Portugal/Madeira and I've had one so far which was the usual overhopped IPA variety. The TV screen outside the bar was showing MTV "Guess the Year" so we spent an enjoyable half hour arguing over the year each song was released. Interesting second-hand junk shop across the road (would be vintage in the UK).

391. Sat 14/4/18: The Black Horse, Luton

Beer: Three Brewers of St Albans Gold 4.1%

Pre-match, Town v Crewe. Notts County ticket distribution, and train arrangement is the order of the afternoon, while the BH is serving reasonably weak beers this week.

World War Three apparently has, or hasn’t, just started in Syria – stuff like going to the pub and the football match seems so much civilised than the bullshit that our elected (and unelected) leaders are coming out with at the moment. The news boycott that my brother has talked of for a few months, seems reasonably sensible at the moment… I can’t stand hearing what that ridiculous warmongering clown Trump has to say at the best of times.

427. Sun 3/6/18: North Tower bar, Lord’s Pavilion, London

Beer: Marston's Pedigree 4.5%

Middx v Surrey, One-day Cup

A big crowd at “HQ”, as we never call it. We have to queue a while to get into the ground but, once in the Pavilion, we’re lucky enough to find some reasonably decent seats… we’re right by the north tower, and can’t see about a third of the playing area towards the Grand Stand; but the pitch is towards the Tavern Stand and – you don’t care, do you?

Anyway, ‘cause it’s a big crowd, they’ve deigned to open the bars at the top of the Pavilion, so I go there. I leave my seat and ask Stephanie to pass my camera – at which point the lady West Indian steward, who has been looming over us for a while, presumably to keep an eye on possibly unruly visiting members from Surrey, informs me I’m not allowed to take photographs in the Pavilion.

“I thought it was just in the Long Room.”

“Anywhere in the Pavilion.”

Steph informs the steward that I’d taken loads of photos in the Pavilion. The bloody grass.

I’ve not been rebuked by a Pavilion steward for a couple of years now. The rules are daft and petty, and one gets the feeling the stewards know it, but they dish out their tellings off so charmingly – it’s always a pleasure.

The bar is card only/no cash. On my return the steward has departed… I take a couple of sneaky snaps in defiant disregard of MCC protocol.

240. Sat 18/11/17: U Bansethů, Prague, Czech Republic

Beer: Pilsner Urquell 4.4%

Our Saturday crawl starts with (eventually) meeting my brother at Wenceslas Square and getting on tram no.11 to Nusle. From our stop it’s up the road to U Bansethů. It’s quite packed – all the tables have “reserved” notices on them, but we sit at one which is free for more than enough time.

This is a fine old traditional wood panelled boozer – one of the favourites of Jaroslav Hasek, author of The Good Soldier Svejk. He has a dedicated table, signposted with a big tin sign, portraits and pictures of him hanging on the wall (Hasek – not Svejk – Svejk, in cartoon form, is all over the place in Czech).

We have a couple of drinks – which is possibly doing this place an injustice, but is probably more than enough given we’ve a few more pubs left to visit. The next is next door.

   

261. Wed 13/12/17: The Brewery Tap, Luton

Beer: Hardy & Hansons Rocking Rudolph 4.2%

Toss a coin in the gym changing room. Its heads – so I ditch fitness and go down pub.

Since reading the blog, up there on the internet, I have changed the way I’ve written – and the pubs I’ve visited. My decision to go to The Tap was based on not having written it up thus far, and that I’ve gone and thunk up “an angle”.

This visit, nay this whole enterprise, is informed by Orwell’s 1946 essay The Moon Under Water, about the perfect pub. The boozer of this Orwellian utopia - TMUW (spoiler alert) doesn’t exist.

The brewery to which this pub recalls was demolished in 1977 – so both Orwell's essay, and Luton’s Brewery Tap pub recall things that are lost to time.

Who, one wonders, was the last whimsical toper who sat in this pub fondly recalling foaming pints of JWGreen’s Dragon’s Blood? Who can tell? Maybe he/she is in here now… they’ll be getting on mind.

Green’s was bought out by Whitbread – who lost interest in brewing years ago (not before everyone lost interest in their lousy beer). Hardy and Hansons were bought up and closed down by Greene King a decade ago – but Rocking Rudolph is, though possibly not what it was, perfectly decent.