53. Fri 14/4/17: La Fabrica, Seville, Spain

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Another old market hall turned into an overpriced glitzy food and drink… market.

This, however, is home to another Cruzcampo Origen tank pub! Look, see, the tanks overhead?!

And it’s alright. Tastes better than the bottled stuff we had over the river. Perhaps it is better. In any case the Origen glasses look different – and the allusion that this is something new and improved does pique the interest in idiots like me. They may have a point… on the other hand, this could be an exercise in turd polishing.

This market though… it’s one for your millennials, it's virtually imploring us old farts to depart. We’re reasonably happy to oblige.

345. Thu 15/3/18: Café Salon Bahia, Cádiz

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%
Another quietly innocuous bar away from the throng. The telly piques interest in this place though, as Viktoria Plzeň are beating Sporting Lisbon in the Europa League. They’re 2-0 up, 2-2 on agg… extra-time…

The bar is reasonably quiet, but has eight fruit machines – which gives the place the feel of a Czech Herna bar. It’s not as dingy as that, mind, although the array of tapas on display looks a little forlorn.

Sporting score an away goal on 105 minutes. Booo.

It’s not really our cue to leave, but we do anyway. It’s our last evening in Cádiz and, though we’re a little fatigued anyway, the little bars at the station end of the old town haven’t really been brilliant.

Cádiz, though, is an excellent, laid back little city – which we’ve thoroughly enjoyed.

31. Sunday 090417: Bodeguita La Mar de Bueno, Malaga

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Bar with a shellfish counter. We’ve been to Malaga a number of times and this is a great concept, which we’ve never taken full advantage of… but buying the prawns/langoustine etc is difficult for the non-Spanish speaker.

The service is rather brusque, and they’re ready to close at 4.30pm

We’re served Cruzcampo in nice glasses which state “Cruzcampo Gran Reserva”, to which my notes disparagingly suggest, though they’ve attempted to polish a turd, still tastes like s***. Bit rude that. Cruzcampo isn’t my favourite lager, but on occasion it can be disarmingly refreshing.

I was probably a bit miffed at feeling hurried and/or frustrated that I couldn’t order a serving of great big crab legs.

48. Thu 13/4/17: Bodeguita Cerrillo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

On previous visits we’ve stayed at an apartment just around the corner from this little (acutely angled) corner bar, and have popped in for first and/or last drinks. There’s room for half a dozen folk inside, at a push, and a similar number outside being served from bar window. We’re outside this afternoon and, mercifully at odds with other establishments today, it’s nice and quiet – just a couple of black widows* and their beaus.

It’s not a bad bar – there’s not enough room for it to go too far wrong. Very basic tapas and no religious or bull fighting flim flammery on the walls.

* A costume relating to Semana Santa: the women (of all ages) dress head to toe in black gowns, with elaborate head pieces. It may just be a Maundy Thursday thing – there certainly seemed to be a lot of them about that day.



No pictures

323. Mon 12/3/18: Casa Lazo, Cádiz

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

From the market environs we carry on in a north easterly direction, at a tangent to our digs; passing a cinema (where we decide against seeing a film). We end up outside Casa Lazo, which appears to be more porcine restaurant than pub. Looking in, though, there is a bar area – so we venture inside.

It’s a thriving little place: the clientele this afternoon seem almost entirely made up of one or two extended families (the youngest members of which are far too noisy).

The bar seems to be trying very hard with its tapas, but nobody seems too interested. We get some complimentary olives, which does for us.

66. Sunday 160417: Enoteca El Arena, Mercado de Arenal, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Just round the corner from the Meeting Point (see no.65), but in the central aisle of the market; where the natural light streams in to illuminate the Rick Stein endorsed fish restaurant and this – the only other bar that’s open. It’s more wine than beer centric; bottled Cruzcampo the only concession to cerveza, but punters can sit up at the bar - which is a bonus.

On the little telly in the corner they’re showing bullfighting highlights. It’s fascinating and appalling in unequal measure. I am impressed by the Spanish peoples’ love affair with it, but the more I see (particularly the gory finales) the more bemusement/distaste increases and empathy fades.

361. Sun 18/3/18: Mariatrifulca, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Don’t be fooled, this is the rat bar. We saw rats around the riverbank – under the Triana Bridge - from this place a few years ago. This bar has been gentrified since – as, apparently, has Seville - I bet the rats have been asked to move on from this stretch of the Guadalquivir. Seville seems more affluent, generally, than a few years ago. There’s loads more tourists too.

Good for Seville, I suppose… we liked it a little more shambolic.

Is this a Cruzcampo tank pub now? I’m not sure, the bar area seemed to be bedecked in brass fittings. The seafood looked lovely… again, they could more than likely do without scumbags like us – only here for a beer – these days.

I forgot to take any pictures with my phone – something I only realised once we’d left – so the picture is a snap taken from the other side of the bridge. Mariatrifulca is the building partially obscured by the lamppost. That big window was the one from where we saw the aforementioned rats.

364. Sun 18/3/18: El Rinconcillo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Still, after all these years, the oldest tapas bar in Seville. It’s quite packed in here, as usual, and all fried fish appears to be off the menu.

Love these creakingly aged places; places where the patina has patina… but it’s getting very crowded and the staff seem to be having trouble coping. It’s a pity. There’s another guided tour in here. The fact that English speaking parties are being herded into places we’re visiting, and being spoon-fed “local culture”, is getting ticklish. And painfully embarrassing: one can’t help listening in, learning a little, wincing a lot.

We should probably stick to places off the tourist track… there are some perfectly adequate, and empty, bars in the area (serving the same dull beer). But this is a fantastic place – I wouldn’t want to miss it. When in Seville, do as the tourists do – just try your best to avoid the rush.

We eventually get to order some squid – which is unremarkable. On my insistence we also get chickpeas and spinach which (and it’s not the same outside El Rinconcillo) is, for me, possibly the best tapas dish there is.

347. Fri 16/3/18: Pérez Santos Ventura, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

The signs and the canopy say Bar Arenal Ventura – but Google Earth namecheck Pérez Santos.

Anyway, this is a small bar near the bullring. It’s quiet at the moment, but it’s looking pretty plush… actually, that goes for Seville itself. It seemed a bit run down, down on its heels a few years ago – it’s now looking far brighter and better maintained. There also seem to be far more tourists now than there was before – and that can’t just be down to easyJet's new route flying direct from Luton.

A group of a dozen or so blokes are having a whale of a time – and eventually start getting on my nerves. Steph suggests I stop being stupid, and get another round in.

This bar, this area generally, is fervent bullfighting territory – and walls are festooned with framed black and white shots of bulls and blokes in camp costume preparing to stick a sword into them.

363. Sun 18/3/18: Cerveceria el Tremendo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

An affable English speaking fellow at the party we gatecrashed in Cádiz (see episode 332) agreed that Cruzcampo is indeed an inferior product now – but there were still places in Seville that sold the good old traditional beer of yore. He gave us some names, which I jotted down in my Czech penguin notebook – and this is one of them.

There certainly seems to be something about this place. It looks clean and bright enough, but generally just bog standard – but it’s extremely popular with the locals. The bar probably has a long tradition as a community hub – but there are no shortage of establishments in this area (including El Rinconcillo, the oldest tapas bar in Seville, just round the corner), not many of which are nearly this busy… (El Rinconcillo is busier – but it is considerably bigger, and better represented on guide books and on telly).


I’m not sure about the beer. I don’t think it’s a relentlessly fizzy as normal, and maybe tastes a bit different/better. Stephanie remains sceptical of that opinion.

I’ve also noticed a sign saying “Cerveza Cruzcampo de barril” in this and, it turns out, several other places (including Casa Morales). The untranslated blurb I’ve managed to look up on the internet since does suggest at a non-pasteurised version – and this is probably it.

58. Fri 14/4/17: El Cangrejo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Untrendy bar in Rinconcillo environs. The area is packed, but this place has ample room at the bar. It appears to be run by a young couple, whose kid sits on the beer kegs – tapping away, bored, on a device.

Nice tiles – too clean – no patina.

Suffice to say that this bar really wasn’t too noteworthy – although the notes that do exist convey some sympathy with the owners of an empty bar in a busy area. They also have a pop at their serving Cruzcampo, which seems more than a little uncharitable – what was I expecting? London Pride?

341. Thu 15/3/18: El Faro, Cádiz

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Superior fish restaurant in old town Cádiz. We’ve picked up this tip at the party on Tuesday night in the market (no.332), courtesy of the bloke who said Rick Stein really didn’t go to the best places on his long weekend in Cadiz programme. He might be right… we still love Rick (though not as much as Brian) Stein.

The man in the market advised us to go to the bar, not the restaurant. So we do.

The bar is posh but accommodating. The barman looks like he’d prefer to be waiting our table, but is friendly and courteous. Everyone, it seems, wants the tortillitas de camarones (prawn fritters). They arrive, and are fantastic – far better than the ones we’ve had previously. We also have deep fried anchovy and deep fried prawns.

We don’t see the restaurant of course, but the bar is immaculate. Not the kind of place, though, where you’d necessarily want to stick around if you’re not eating – but then the food is so good (and so deep fried) that you don’t want to be not eating.

Delicious. Not cheap. Best move on.

365. Sun 18/3/18: El Cangrejo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Escape El Rinconcillo, which is a fantastic place – but too much, and back to the Cerverceria El Tremendo environs. Right next door to that – looking though it’s mostly employed to cater for the overspill from its more illustrious neighbour, is El Cangrejo.

We’ve been here before (see episode 58), and been somewhat underwhelmed. El Tremendo is small and basic, and El Cangrejo is a step down from that. It’s just a very small, nicely tiled and brightly lit, bar dispensing “Cerveza Cruzcampo de Barril”. This, I’m starting to believe, is the premium variety of the brew – as endorsed by the bloke in the market in Cadiz – that is only available in a handful of places: here, next door, Casa Morales etc.

It really does taste different… I try and persuade myself. Stephanie (and, to be honest, my age addled tastebuds) aren’t convinced.

Anyway the ceramic sign on the wall, which suggests they sell CCdB, leads me to believe that this bar has something going for it – so (whoever is running the place these days) is this time spared the pity I dumped upon it/them eleven months back.

45 Wed 12/4/17: Café Santos, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

From Triana we return back to our apartment by a tortuous route through Semana Santa crowds and processions. We get lost, but eventually find our bearings – and our way back to our accommodation; which is in itself right in the centre of all the activity. Our apartment faces Calle Cuna through which many processions, returning from the cathedral, pass.

The crowds and congestion and fear of getting lost again - leave us wary of going too far away in case we get stranded. We get stuff in from the supermarket, and decamp to this bar – on the street/alley where our apartment’s situated. The procession is due to pass at 10pm. It’s 8.30pm when we get to Café Santos, but we’re not risking going any further.

Rowland serving C'campo

The bar is more back street than we’d normally consider. It’s perfectly alright, bog standard basic, tables and plastic chairs and beer served in wine glasses. The barman, I reckon, looks like Kevin Rowland.

At the table over the way sit a very matriarchal family. The blokes are left holding the babies while several generations of women hold court… seemingly in an air of perpetual mild disapproval. Matriarchs are great. It’s noticeable how the Madonna is venerated, apparently more than her boy. Almost all the processions have two pasos: one, the first, will feature Jesus suffering during some part of his last few days and hours. The Mary paso is the main attraction. It’s almost as if Jesus’ suffering was secondary to Mary’s grief… there’s a theological debate there somewhere; the apparent backlash against the inherent sexism of plans hatched between father and son, with scant regard to the emotional wellbeing of the mother.

A glass smashes somewhere in the bar. Nobody cheers. Idiot foreigners.

47 Thu 13/4/17: Casa Morales, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

The second oldest bar in Seville is an exceptional pub near the Cathedral. We need it quite a bit quieter than this in order to enjoy it though. The whole world and his widow* are in. Casa Morales has two bars, quite different, and the only place we manage to secure this time round is a small bit of shelf in the back bar – with the giant Romanesque (or Roman) wine amphorae.

The front bar is generally nicer, usually more spacious - and certainly lets in far more light.

* relates to the fact that, perhaps only on Maundy Thursday, Andalusian ladies are wont to dress all in black (albeit very glamorously, with a big tall headpiece).

348 Fri 16/3/18: Bodega San José, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Is this the quintessential Seville bar? Possibly. Probably. It had more character before it was shut down – it’s reopened, it’s much cleaner: doesn’t seem to require a health warning, but it’s lost some colour in the wash.

Seville, I suppose, is blessed with a number of pubs that just seem “must visit”, in our opinion. This place, Casa Matias, Casa Morales, El Rinconcillo, Bar Santa Ana over the bridge – and we keep finding others. The beer is all the same, and it’s not very good, but a fair few of the bars are excellent all the same.

Anyway, on this visit, it's late afternoon and the bar is quite quiet – until it starts raining and folk come in to avoid it. It’s instantly very busy and very noisy in here.

Among the recent intake a Spanish lady interrogates an Australian chap about his relationship with a lady workmate, who accompanies him. They’re both drinking sangria, which seems a little clichéd. We, like she, assumed the couple were a couple – but apparently they’re not. They look pretty close though… still, we’re not going to pry – but we’ll gladly listen in while somebody else does.

317 Sun 11/3/17 Bar Orozco, Cádiz

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Cádiz is cold and wet and WINDY. My holiday wardrobe selection is being exposed as far too optimistic…

On arrival in this, apparently the oldest, city in Europe we try and head toward the westerly beach in the old town; but are beaten back by the tempest. We pass a group of prospective Cofradías preparing to lug a dummy paso around town in a Semana Santa rehearsal (and think, though the weather’s bad, at least we don’t have THAT to contend with this year), and eventually end up in this establishment.

It’s a reasonably small and unassuming neighbourhood bar. The proprietors appear to favour Athletico Madrid (although most bars in town also have some Cádiz CF memorabilia). However, the main point of interest about the barman (we’re presuming the owner) was his formidable level of service. On a number of occasions a regular would walk to the bar and – without either saying a word – his order (it was always a he) would be prepared/poured and the transaction completed. The barman knew exactly what the customer required, the customer knew he knew; neither party saw any requirement for small talk.

Very impressive although… “hello” and “thank you”, surely, remain minimal requirements - if only for the sake of courtesy. But, no, that would involve a second of attention denied the Las Palmas v Villarreal football match on the telly.

51 Thu 13/4/17: Café Santos, Calle Lagar, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Back in very localest bar – hemmed in by the crowds. It’s quieter (in the bar) than yesterday. The bar still has some Christmas decorations up… I notice this while being roundly ignored, waiting to be served. My petulant bar-rage protestations are vocal enough to warrant a telling off from Steph… and I’m eventually served.

Our beer tonight is served in beer, rather than wine, glasses.

Back at the apartment, the processions tonight, leading into Good Friday, are spectacular.

There’s been a horrible nagging worry throughout (given recent events at home) that the festival could be open to terrorist attack. The Silencio procession passes through at around 4am Friday morning. Most processions include one or two bands but, because this one is so quiet, it is quite eerie. At some point as it passes through, a wave of panic grips the crowd. Steph watches from our balcony vantage point overlooking Calle Cuna as public and penitents flee. I’m on the sofa watching telly at that point - and just hear the stampede. It’s a horribly scary sound. It rolls through quickly – gradually followed by (hushed) reassurances that things are fine… and the parade continues. There are a couple of similar disturbances afterwards – each subsequent time lessening in intensity.

We glean, from later reports on the internet, that there were false rumours of cars running down pedestrians – of fights causing panic, and kids deliberately making sudden noises to scare the crowd.

We’ve seen all the parades pass from the second floor, but go down at about 6am to watch the Macarena procession pass by at ground level. It’s spectacular; we’re almost asphyxiated with incense, but air is just as thick with lingering fear of what’s happened (and equally what didn’t/what might’ve) earlier. Folk seem jumpy, but the procession passes by peacefully.

65 Sun 16/4/17: The Meeting Point, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

We’d planned to take in the atmosphere outside the first bullfight of the year in Arenal – but since yesterday there’s also the theory that Arenal has it in for us, as we’re generally anti-bullfighting, so we need to get back there. We even go to the shop where the accident happened – they’ve fitted their marble step with anti-slip tape (we’d been encouraged via texts/messages from back home to sue but, like bullfighters, we’re disdainful of ambulance chasers).

Our first stop is the generally deserted (one-time Rick Stein patronised) market. We manage to get hawked into a very basic market bar and served up Cruzcampo. Unlike the other (trendier) markets in the area, everything is at service counter level here (or at least at this bar). There are no high stools at the bar, and it misses out as a result. We’re sat on wobbly chairs at a wobbly table wondering where to wander to next…

30 Sun 9/4/18: El Gallo Ronco, Malaga

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Busy flamenco bar in a small square in the centre of Malaga – extremely busy with the Semana Santa processions just yards away. We’ve just seen the first (of very many) Virgin Mary manhandled down the street on her excruciatingly slow progress to the cathedral… and we’re finding it excruciatingly difficult to get served in this bar. We manage it eventually – but the staff seem to be working frantically, even when the numbers in the bar start dropping away.

The place is full of quite big pictures of folk overcome in various states of dress and/or duende. One, I suggest to Steph, looks like Bob Dylan (circa mid-70’s). She doesn’t particularly agree… I didn’t take a photo…

We leave the bar a bit miffed. I’d possibly have liked to stay a little longer, but we weren’t getting served. Made me miss low-season a bit… a sentiment increasingly reinforced as the holiday went on.