510b. Fri 2/11/18: The Lady Hamilton, Zurich, Switzerland

Beer: Heineken International Heineken 5%

After a long day’s travel and after pitching up at my self-serve lodgings in the heart of Zurich’s bustling bar’n’ brothel zone, I was under-researched, but in no mood for adventure. Which led me, firstly to The Lord Nelson. No seats. The upstairs bar, The Lady Hamilton, was more accommodating.

The Hamilton's interior is lifted from an English pub devoid of leprechauns or old bits of agricultural machinery. There's a wide selection of lager, most of which I’ve tasted and am confident taste EXACTLY the same as each other. More or less. I’m able to pay by card, but there’s a 30 Franc minimum, so I’m given a hefty amount of change and am unexpectedly the sulky owner of Swiss currency.

English pub. Euro beer. Swiss money. American soft rock, then American raunchy rubbish with a big beat. The crowd grows steadily while I sit and try and read. The emerging clientele is young, loud and enjoying the Halloween decorations. The table next to me is dominated by some bloke pontificating and provoking one young lady into giggling with enough shrill enthusiasm and volume to cover the music. She’s a happy soul; half human/three quarters gerbil, pausing her mirth only for the occasional breath. She needn’t bother.

To my right, an older couple, eating a meal, dressed nice. Not dressed up, but nice. They, like me, are clearly in the wrong place. I leave as the music’s turned up, feeling vaguely disconnected with the rest of mankind. There’s a club night coming up; one of the DJs is called “Meh”. DJ Meh.

543. Friday 09/11/18: Palác Akropolis, Prague, Czech Republic

Beer: Pilsner Urquell 4.4%

We’ve been once, some years ago, to Žižkov's premier (proper) venue, the Akropolis, to see a band. We must’ve largely stumbled into the gig, it wasn’t planned. Great venue, mind – an old theatre venue, nice and small with a good sound. Been there once.

Thought we’d pop in for a beer on our last day though. The bar at the Akropolis on a Friday afternoon is underwhelming but, without the pretensions hoisted onto too many other places in Prague these days, that seems like a breath of fresh air.

The Pilsner Urquell isn’t at its best. It’s a bit warm. Stephanie struggles with A) trying to send a text to my brother, which seemingly refuses to go through and B) a beer fly, against which she waves hands and urgently suggests that he/she ought to “f*ck off”.

 

435. Fri 22/6/18: The Blue Boar, Leicester

Beer: Exit 33 Stout 4.7%

Just down the road from The Criterion – appraisal of this place, according to my write up, stymied by the amount of time and drink we enjoyed beforehand. Notes, verbatim, go:

Crafty brewpub. Excellent place. Good beer. No tellies. One big, rectangle, room – Czech beerhallesque. Too piney… I dunno, I’m guessing – I’m increasingly pissed.

Good place – no music, tellies or owt… just conversation, which rankles over aged folk saying “like”. I’m still trying t’get photos, taken here, on a device, sent t’work… which is problematic. Beer is very nice. I’m too soused to fully appreciate it.

505b. Sat 20/10/18: The Bear Club, Luton

Beer: Rebel Brewing Company Surf Bum IPA 3.5%, Leighton Buzzard Restoration 4.6%

Third gig in as many nights. Maybe one gig too many. The Bear feels subdued. Lemn Sissay's in town, which may have taken one or two customers. Such a difference can be telling; there are a few empty seats, which is a bit of a shame. Have a very pleasant catch up with Justin and tell him how much better The Bear is than Ronnie Scott's, although I suspect that a) he knows, and b) there's no real comparison. I mean well, but should perhaps keep my wisdom to myself.

I'm knackered. I try a low strength beer. A false economy; the flavour eludes me so I neck the Rebel back and move onto Restoration. Henrik Jensen and his quartet take the stand. They are cool and measured. Not necessarily the right time and right place for me and my weary head. I find myself trying not to nod off, rather than nod along. I'd arranged and very pleased that SRW and AW (nee AT) are here, but am unable to give any good advice viz their planned 2019 rail excursion to Eastern Europe. I mutter vague warnings about the Belgrade to Sofia overnight train, though they're not planning, or aren't talking about either Serbia or Bulgaria.

Dirty chips in pitta on the way home.

 

53. Fri 14/4/17: La Fabrica, Seville, Spain

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Another old market hall turned into an overpriced glitzy food and drink… market.

This, however, is home to another Cruzcampo Origen tank pub! Look, see, the tanks overhead?!

And it’s alright. Tastes better than the bottled stuff we had over the river. Perhaps it is better. In any case the Origen glasses look different – and the allusion that this is something new and improved does pique the interest in idiots like me. They may have a point… on the other hand, this could be an exercise in turd polishing.

This market though… it’s one for your millennials, it's virtually imploring us old farts to depart. We’re reasonably happy to oblige.

527a. Tues 6/11/18: U Hrocha, Prague

Beer: Pilsner Urquell 4.4%

A tiny bar - well two tiny bars, separated by a passageway - up among the embassies behind Malostranská Namesti. We tried coming here last year, but couldn’t get in. This year, we’ve come early, straight from the Museum of Oppression, housed within the base of the old statue of Stalin.

We’re in luck, kind of. TPK advises that he and SA usually sit in the window. There’s space there, he points out, for two. Not three. I invite him to remain stood up. It doesn’t go down well, so I invite the two of them to sit and I perch nearby, getting in people’s way. That’s how I remember it. There's definitely some moving around and fitting in where we can. A group of teeny kids don’t have the same problem, although they’re at odds with the older demographic and don’t hang around long.

304a. Fri 16/2/18: The Pineapple, Kentish Town, London

Beer: Dark Star Partridge 4.0%

A catch up with Stephen F and Michael J - who's over from Koln and spent what sounds like an excellent day gallery visiting and record shopping.

The Pineapple's one of my favourite pubs, but disappointing this evening. The front bar's packed. There are tables free on the left hand side towards the back room, but these are reserved and the back room itself closed for a private party. I appreciate that reserving tables probably works in the pub's and the locals' interest, but when you're sat in a table reserved a little while in the future, you feel like a criminal when it's time to be turfed out.

We leave after one drink, after having been asked to remove ourselves from reserved seats (the party typically turning up late) and suspecting that The Junction Tavern may be a better bet.

569. Sat 15/12/18: Byatt’s Brewery Bar, Coventry

Beer: Byatt’s XXXmas 5.5%
COVENTRY CITY 1-2 LUTON TOWN

Excellent result in Coventry – new ground for me. My 105th, according to my (anal) “app”. A fantastic day out only marred by the weather which started out as very cold but, by the time we left, the freezing rain had started. We’re a bit stuck about what to do – my research for this trip sadly lacking – the GBG app on my phone gives directions to Byatt’s Brewery, but it’s a twenty minute walk and we’re getting soaked.

Thankfully we get to the little industrial estate where the brewery is based, and manage to warm up a little in its nicely appointed bar. There’s seats and heaters (and about a dozen Town fans) upstairs.

The beer is dark and strong, like I like my men. My phone has given up the ghost in the cold, and my selvedge LVC (seconds) jeans are soaked through.

Keith is in the party of Hatters – but the others leave together – leaving Mr H with us. We talk vaguely about the match, about Town’s chances of promotion, about Power Court. We eventually manage to wangle a couple of seats in the taxi Keith’s booked to take him (to meet back up with his pals) in another pub in the city centre.

143. Sun 6/8/17: Harris Garden, Lord’s Cricket Ground, St John’s Wood, London

Beer: Ringwood Forty Niner 4.9%


The deal with the Lord’s Beer Fest’ is that it’s non-cash and one buys vouchers beforehand. In today’s case that necessitates return visits to get rid of our remaining half pint vouchers. It’s getting too hot – and Middlesex are now crashing too (there’s twenty wickets in the day – possibly more, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the farce out in the middle).

The Beer Festival is very popular though. I’ve worked out why. While, as members, our booze alternative is pots of Pedigree at a price comparable to drinks here – the rest of the crowd are served up whatever Marston’s weakest bitter is, and at a scandalous £5.20 a pint. A half of considerably better beer at the Harris Garden Beer Fest’ is £1.90.

412. Fri 110518: The Victoria, Dunstable

Beer: Hook Norton Old Hooky 4.5% 

Steph bought tickets to see Danny Baker at Dunstable’s (excellent) Grove Theatre as a Christmas present – so that’s why we’re in Dunny. Good though, ain’t he, Danny Baker?

We’ve time for a couple beforehand – and go, firstly, like you do, to The Victoria: once Dunstable’s sole real ale bolthole… these days rather in the shade of The Globe. The Vic’ (as regulars may call it) is alright – and it certain retains the feel and the clientele of a decent community local.

Immediately on entry, we have to circumnavigate the large group of old boys, loudly effin’ and jeffin’ (but most effin’), and pretty efficiently blocking both entrance to/from the pub – and access to/from the bar.

Still, once got, the beer is very good.

Steph suggests, judging by the look of the locals – there are quite a few people in here that it’d be useful to know. They’re almost exclusively male, dressed in paint flecked apparel, and all apparently employed at doing “something useful” - swigging back lagers and swearing in accents that Steph suggests are “more Luton than you get in Luton”. I’m sitting there, sipping at real ale, surreptitiously scribbling notes and taking photographs… activities I’m involved enough with at the time to forget about feeling emasculated, until it comes round to typing this report out.

We only stay for one – and get a little bit lost in the back streets, trying to find The Globe.

491d. Wed 3/10/18: Snack Bar o Jacare, Madeira, Portugal

Beer: Madeira Coral 5.0% 

Post levada walk drink at the finishing point. For those who have not been to Madeira, the levadas are man made narrow channels of water which guide water from the mountains to the rest of the island. Originally built for irrigation of the land and then for collecting water for general usage, there are now a number of levadas that feed hydroelectric stations. Many of the levadas can be walked and take you through some lovely countryside. My beer stands next to the levada I followed. We were told not to drink water straight from the levada which was good advice as on the walk first a dead kitten and then a dead mouse floated past us! Thought the bar at the end of the walk would be prime tourist trap territory but fair do's, 50cls of Coral only €3.

 

300b. Sat 10/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Banks & Taylor Crooked Hooker 4.7%

Late Saturday night pub, celebrating and blowing smoke for Lee after the Light/Shade event at Wardown House. To be fair, the boy done very good indeed, and he and Anna seem in good spirits.

Chat revolves around 'projects', nights, work and the pros and cons of various aspects connected to each of them. And poetry. We're joined by Lawrence who's interested in something going on where I work. And poetry.

Meanwhile, Al's soldering behind the bar, training a new recruit who can ease what appears to be something of a shortage of weekend help. It's fairly busy - standing room only, which is pretty good - and despite my reservations about B&T beer, the Hooker is pretty good. Fnarr.

577. Tue 25/12/18: The Wigmore Arms, Luton

Beer: Marston’s Pedigree 4.5%

Two Wiggy visits in two days – this time it’s an early afternoon pre-dinner session with Steph and her folks. Again, the place is busy, but we manage to get a table in the main/front/lounge bar so can gauge the effect of the recent refurbishment – which has changed the pub into a branch of the “Sizzling Pub Grill” brand that nobody’s heard of. The most obvious change, for me, is that they’ve gotten rid of the wordy (boring, to be honest) history of the Wigmore family, misappropriated Holbein illustration and all, from the wall. This they’ve replaced with a big “Sizzler” decal screaming: “FRESH from our GRILL”… A beer mat on our table informs that Sizzler can provide us with a seasonal Cherry Bakewell Cocktail.

Have, Steph’s Mum wonders, they gotten rid of the lady who used to cook here? I suggest maybe not. I’m facing towards the bar and catch sight of the lady in question – apparently still employed in the kitchens.

Tables are full, mainly with family groups. A kid on the table next to ours is playing with his new Harry Potter wand. It’s all very convivial and noisy – the Wigmore regulars festive loud, but not boisterous. The tellies run through a selection of cheesy seasonal hits, thankfully the volume isn’t turned up as loud as yesterday. Macca is still enjoying his wonderful Chrismastime.

I have my back to the window. Steph and Roy are looking outside – gleaning a fair degree of entertainment from the steady, if not heavy, stream of cars driving into Asda – their drivers believing the petrol station and/or supermarket are open on Christmas Day.

Back in the pub, numbers fluctuate, but the place remains quite packed. Packed and festive and nice: Merry Christmas everybody…

 

498a. Fri 12/10/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Titanic Cherry Dark 4.4%

Back from The Black Horse beer festival. The Brickies is fairly busy. L8s has a table in the back. He admonishes me and TPK for our high spirits. Not sure why he admonishes us, or why we're so cheerful. Or if we're that cheerful. Anyway, he does and we may be.

We knuckle down to the business of drinking dark, complicated Chocolate and Vanilla Stout. It's sweet and the flavours are childish, but the beer's very good.

105. Tue 30/5/17: The Bear Club, Luton

Beer: Leighton Buzzard Smokin’ Angel Porter 5%, Leighton Buzzard Black Buzzard 5.8%

At The Bear at the invitation of my brother, who has a cameo role in the British Independent film The Same Circles directed by Mark Garvey, written produced and starring Simon Cleary.

Simon is a friend of the KOs/Clod Mag, a Quiet Night (Slow Night - ed) regular and a fascinating, fantastic and wonderfully creative fellow. AJKingston’s part is to ride up on a bike, inform Cleary’s revengeful character that he doesn’t know of the man he is looking for – and ride off. Simon Cleary does almost everything else – with tremendous gusto. I’m not sure what to make of the film, apart from being full of bemused admiration for Simon – and being impressed with some very nice individual shots.

It’s good to see a screening at The Bear, what with Justin’s Filmstock background, and the room is full – albeit of folk who either have bit parts in the film, or know them that do.

79. Tue 18/4/17: Taberna Tirso de Molina, Madrid

Beer: San Miguel 5%

Our local pub – two minutes from our flat. Again this is a darkly lit, dark wood (certainly darker than the ubiquitous brown in British boozers) – but not evoking Bavaria this time, rather the Nineteenth Century Paris of Toulouse Lautrec… apologise, sometimes ones CSE Grade 4 Art training just kicks in. Art Nouveau is it? Not sure how/where that succeeds or falls – but there are faint touches of grandiose, from stained glass windows to ceilings bedecked with chandeliers and mirrors.

Maybe where it does succeed is in that the décor doesn’t render the bar any more or less poncey than any other fairly decent bar on the corner of a city centre square.

A sign in the pub suggests that they’ll be screening Leicester v Atletico a little later. Not sure why we’re bothered, but we decide to pop by and have a look. When the football does start, the hostelries of Madrid are screening Real v Bayern, being played just up the road, en masse (including this place, so we don’t stay).

284a. Sat 6/1/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Nethergate Red Poll 4.2%

Late night stop after exhausting, enjoyable round trip to Newcastle to see the Town. The journey back featured some rather questionable musical choices in the car, then one of those horror film late night Thameslink trains from Bedford, empty save for me, JtCF and a couple of weirdos in tracksuits. The train was starkly lit and I fully expected weirdos' "special messages".

By contrast, the Brickies was convivial. The removal of Christmas decorations gave it an airy feel and although reasonably busy, me and JtC Fish were able to secure the best table in the front bar (corner closest to the arch with the more substantial, comfier chairs). The Red Poll went down very well.

291. Wed 24/1/18: The Frog & Rhubarb, Slip End, Luton

Beer: Greene King Mighty Moose IPA 5.6%

Curry Club in Slip End. I’ve made plans to possibly meet me Dad in the pub beforehand, although he’s not sure he’ll be able to make it. I don’t expect he will.

The beer is very drinkable, but at least 1% too strong. Why so strong GK? But nevertheless, good job, well done.

The Frog is quiet. Apart from me there’s one bloke sitting at the bar, wearing a bobble hat, engrossed in his phone – and another lady sat in the dining area. Like me, she’s sat alone on a table with far more seats than takers.

This is the last entry in my notebook #4 which I purchased at The Prado in Madrid. It’s a detail from Bosch’s Garden of Heavenly Delights (specifically the scary panel). My new notebook, bought in Kutna Hora in November, is decidedly less highbrow. It features a cartoon penguin.

My Dad does arrive – which means I have maybe a pint too many of this very nice, but very strong, beer.

460a. Sat 11/8/18: The Black Horse, Luton

Beer: Goffs Brewery Cheltenham Gold 4.5%

First home game of the season in League 1 against the formidable Sunderland. Conflicting feelings about the projected outcome. Some think we'll lose badly, others with that early season optimism (ended up 1-1 and we gave a good account of ourselves). All showing off our pristine season tickets, one was even deflowered at the table.

Bit of a giggle at my fellow blogger's attempt to be "with it" wearing his distressed, torn jeans. A discussion comparing blogging methods was had. I don't think any blogger has written about the same visit. Until now.

298. Sat 3/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Shefford Plum Mild 3.8%

LUTON TOWN 1 EXETER CITY 0

The Six Nations rugby has started and the rugger buggers have the back bar (its only France v Ireland, so there aren’t too many of them). I grudgingly appreciate the rugby fans down the pub – their presence does change the atmosphere in the place, and not entirely detrimentally. Despite the apparent neanderthal nature of the game, those showing an interest seem largely better mannered than your average football fan.

Anyway, despite their being here, the pub doesn’t seem as packed as normal (though it’s standing room only).

The Hegleys are in – and I have my book to swap with John (he’s forgotten mine). Marcel and Paul are stood by the stairs (we’re at the back bar), and John starts reciting some of the haiku to them. Almost immediately he finds one with a four syllable opening line – so I correct his copy by inserting the word “big”*.

John goes on to find: a haiku that mentions him (which I wincingly suggest has a whiff of toadying about it) and a haiku he particularly likes. I wish I could have taped his reciting my “poetry” to his (increasingly bemused/irritated) family members.

Town win, and I get an ego massage to boot. Good day.

* we’re happy to provide this service to owners of Luton Haiku v5 but, on the off chance that we’re not around, please add the word yourself – the offending haiku is the one about the man who threw a pie at an opening match of the football season (so it’ll be sometime in August).