182. Mon 2/10/17: Café-Bar Vetusta, Benidorm

Beer: San Miguel 5%
One of the more significant reasons why Steph’s folks love Benidorm, I reckon, is that so many of their friends and acquaintances (mostly from Line Dancing circles, or rows) do too. That’s perfectly understandable – and what better than to spend extended holidays than in the sun with friends and family? I’m not entirely sold – but I can see the point.

Anyway, we’re out with a group of friends – it's Kim’s birthday. Steph and I don’t know Kim, and I do harbour doubts that we’ve ostensibly gatecrashed a family do. No, it’s fine, apparently, but I wouldn’t necessarily inflict a party of strangers to my dubious company for a few hours on their birthday. But, no, again, it’s fine. I haven’t written up the meal, ‘cause it’s a restaurant… I have a locally brewed beer, and the steak. Ice cream for dessert.

Post-meal we wander somewhat aimlessly en masse around the Old Town and, having accurately identified us as the incoherent gaggle of foreign tourists we are, we get set upon by the Vetusta hawker who corrals us to a table outside his employers’ bar.

We wouldn’t have picked it ourselves, but the beer was ok. The coffee (my shout, the coffee – happy birthday) wasn’t.

434b. Fri 22/6/18: The Painters Arms, Luton

Beer: Heineken International Foster's 4%

A pre-Bricks Friday night visit. There had been some talk about the pub's recent refurb paving the way for real ale and CAMRA crowds. Sadly, there's no ale tonight. This and the enthusiastic singing of ballards in the saloon suggest that the Irish in The Painters is still very much alive and well. And why shouldn't it be?

The disappointment of the de-clipped ale pump and missing a bland though quaffable Doom Bar or Pedigree is mitigated by my mouth zanging, having just been brushed through with one of those posh, long lasting gritty toothpastes. These recipes, which taste like liquid nitrogen and the dentist's floor are designed for people like me, who fear losing their gnashers almost as much as they fear fat dentist fingers in their mouth. On the plus side, any taste the Foster's may have had is hidden.

Steve arrives in good time and has a Guinness. We sit under a huge screen showing the Switzerland vs Serbia game and watch the Swiss winner, scored by a player who was both fat and muscular. Well suited for dentistry.

L8s arrives. We talk about Dutch buckets. The question of when to leave is neatly solved by the appearance of a musical duo and amplification.

64. Sun 16/4/17: Bar Europa, Seville

Beer: Estrella Galicia 5%

After yesterday afternoons (thru to this mornings) unfortunate incident, it’s almost 14:30 before we’re back to “back in a bar” normality. After the trauma it’s hard to get into the mundanity of the cups.

The Bar Europa is a nice enough place though. It seems to harbour some memory toward a past age of decadence – Art Nouveau and/or Deco? – I don’t know. But it’s a nice quiet and relaxed pub on the corner of the bustling square round the corner from us.

It’s nice. Nice to be back although I, let alone Steph, am exhausted.

SA insight: Very traditional. Nice tiles.

431. Fri 15/6/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Shardlow Narrow Boat 4.3%

Come in (slightly later than I’d wanted/expected) halfway through the second half of Portugal v Spain in the World Cup. The games/teams I’ve seen thus far have been very ordinary – but these are two exceptional sides. Ronaldo is, of course, the best player in the world but – I suggest – even if he played for the Town, you couldn’t love the arrogant sod. He’s scored two already – Portugal are 3-2 down – he buys a free kick just outside the area and scores a beauty. Like he does.

Steve and me brother out – bearing birthday gifts, for me, which is nice of them. It’s my birthday on Sunday.

The talk is of Clod Magazine (next issue out soon) and The Knockouts.


I take lots of pictures using the bulb/manual setting on me camera – a mainstay before I sussed out the “no-flash” setting, which makes life easier and photographs generally better. The bulb can be ok but, at my level of expertise, results are patchy and invariably too murky. I don’t know… there may be one or two goodies (amongst masses of murky underexposed rubbish).

The excitement of the World Cup is replaced later with boring bloody golf – presumably live from some part of the USA. It’s bright and pristine and deadly bloody dull; and seems to kill the mood completely.

80. Tue 1/4/17: La barro del teatro, Madrid

Beer: Mahou 5%

Right next door to the theatre in the square and apparently owned/staffed by Indians, which is odd but good to see.

Mind you, it is WAY too hot in here. The pub is wide and open (not airy), with a single bar pump serving Mahou.

Disappointingly the tapas are pretty standard fayre – would it be too much to suggest Indian food? I could kill a curry (upon my return to Blighty, I kill two in two days). There’s a smell of curry coming from somewhere – it smells lovely, and makes me feel homesick.

There are big queues for the theatre outside. Not sure what’s on – there are giant billboards for two shows outside (I should have photographed them). The queues die down by the time we depart.

 

361. Sun 18/3/18: Mariatrifulca, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Don’t be fooled, this is the rat bar. We saw rats around the riverbank – under the Triana Bridge - from this place a few years ago. This bar has been gentrified since – as, apparently, has Seville - I bet the rats have been asked to move on from this stretch of the Guadalquivir. Seville seems more affluent, generally, than a few years ago. There’s loads more tourists too.

Good for Seville, I suppose… we liked it a little more shambolic.

Is this a Cruzcampo tank pub now? I’m not sure, the bar area seemed to be bedecked in brass fittings. The seafood looked lovely… again, they could more than likely do without scumbags like us – only here for a beer – these days.

I forgot to take any pictures with my phone – something I only realised once we’d left – so the picture is a snap taken from the other side of the bridge. Mariatrifulca is the building partially obscured by the lamppost. That big window was the one from where we saw the aforementioned rats.

9. Tue 7/3/17: Frog & Rhubarb, Luton

Beer: Purity Pure Ubu 4.5%

We saw the 1990’s in down the Frog…

These days I sometimes go in en route to “Curry Club” at my Dad’s house – dialing a meal in with my father and siblings and niece.

The Frog isn’t a bad pub – airy and light, when it’s light outside. The Pure Ubu was nice, and I had a couple of pints, then went on my way.

Pictures are a bit crap aren’t they? I’ve cleaned the lens, we’ll see if that helps. It might be the printer (the composition isn’t great either).

406c. Fri 4/5/18: The Cock Tavern, Hackney, London

Beer: Hackney Kapow! 4.5%

A post M.O.T.H. Club tipple in an impressively sized pub bang in the middle of Hackers. It's strangely not-at-all-busy which is just fine for me and PtmF. Queuing up for a craft beer is a foolish game, after all. In our slightly wrecked state, we don't see the 16 real ale pumps until after we've ordered from shiny craft taps. See picture; and tell us exactly how blind we were.

The Kapow's ok, even if everything in the breezy, empty pub reeks of joss sticks. These supposedly relaxing hippy smells have an alarming effect, particularly on PtmF, who starts seething. As he reaches boiling point, I throw a jacket over him and bundle him back to Hackney Central for the surprisingly easy, predictably painful train ride home to civilisation, via Highbury & Islington and St Pancras.

387. Fri 6/4/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Rudgate Ruby Mild 4.4%

Come to the Brickies straight from work where I’ve been busily trying to catch up with these write-ups (I’d reached, by that time, no.331 – in Cadiz).

My brother is there already, and gives me a gift: an OS map of Luton from 1879. Very interesting too.

Johnny Harper is out. Lydia is working silly hours this weekend. It’s good to see him out on a Friday.
He suggests we produce a podcast, nay, a “Clodcast”. It’s around 10:30pm by the time that’s mooted and, well into our cups by then, must’ve seemed a good idea. Looking back… I fail to see anything good, but then John’s the visionary in this case.

364. Sun 18/3/18: El Rinconcillo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Still, after all these years, the oldest tapas bar in Seville. It’s quite packed in here, as usual, and all fried fish appears to be off the menu.

Love these creakingly aged places; places where the patina has patina… but it’s getting very crowded and the staff seem to be having trouble coping. It’s a pity. There’s another guided tour in here. The fact that English speaking parties are being herded into places we’re visiting, and being spoon-fed “local culture”, is getting ticklish. And painfully embarrassing: one can’t help listening in, learning a little, wincing a lot.

We should probably stick to places off the tourist track… there are some perfectly adequate, and empty, bars in the area (serving the same dull beer). But this is a fantastic place – I wouldn’t want to miss it. When in Seville, do as the tourists do – just try your best to avoid the rush.

We eventually get to order some squid – which is unremarkable. On my insistence we also get chickpeas and spinach which (and it’s not the same outside El Rinconcillo) is, for me, possibly the best tapas dish there is.

308a. Sun 25/2/18: The Parcel Yard, London

Beer: Butcombe Rare Breed 3.8%; Fullers London Pride 4.1%

A Sunday evening and we find ourselves in Kings Cross, attracted by a tribute to the late Mark E. Smith and The Fall, up the road, U skinny rats. A decision is taken on the train down to try out Fullers' The Parcel Yard and we’re glad we did.

Housed in a curious roof space above the station itself (where throngs of Japanese and Italian fans of H. Potter are queuing to get themselves pictured in front of a sign saying “Platform 9 ¾”…. weird), the pub is made up of a number of large rooms separated by nicely preserved original wooden panels.  High vaulted ceilings and plenty of glass make it a bright, and despite the size, quite a cosy place. Food looked good (didn’t try it, mind) and a very varied range of beers.

Talk was largely centred around the genius of M.E.S. writing and music which made us eager to finish up quick and get to the venue. Will definitely return when we have more time and are next leaving the capitol.

305. Wed 21/2/18: The Frog & Rhubarb, Luton

Beer: Morland Old Speckled Hen 4.5%
Didn’t have any cash so, before entering the pub to ask if I could pay by card, had a sneaky look in to see what was on offer… what was on offer was GKIPA and OSH… not an inspiring choice; what’s more, I was spotted by bar staff and customers trying sneak the aforementioned peek – so just looked a bit odd.

Tried to call me Dad to suggest we give pub a miss, but he’s not answering – I meet him in Front Street. I suggest we give the pub a miss… he has an alternative suggestion – let’s not.

The beer is alright, actually, and I can pay by card – contactless, no less.

DGK is on good form and speaks on various topics, including: doorbells, John Bunyan, walking/rambling, his fondness for (but amusing allergies to) seafood - and popular mass produced cameras of the twentieth century.

My part in the conversation is minimal, but a retelling of my original anecdote no.16 “the tripe sausage in Calais story” presents a rare opportunity to say “piss” (as in “it smelt like…”) to a parent, without getting told off.

347. Fri 16/3/18: Pérez Santos Ventura, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

The signs and the canopy say Bar Arenal Ventura – but Google Earth namecheck Pérez Santos.

Anyway, this is a small bar near the bullring. It’s quiet at the moment, but it’s looking pretty plush… actually, that goes for Seville itself. It seemed a bit run down, down on its heels a few years ago – it’s now looking far brighter and better maintained. There also seem to be far more tourists now than there was before – and that can’t just be down to easyJet's new route flying direct from Luton.

A group of a dozen or so blokes are having a whale of a time – and eventually start getting on my nerves. Steph suggests I stop being stupid, and get another round in.

This bar, this area generally, is fervent bullfighting territory – and walls are festooned with framed black and white shots of bulls and blokes in camp costume preparing to stick a sword into them.