53. Fri 14/4/17: La Fabrica, Seville, Spain

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Another old market hall turned into an overpriced glitzy food and drink… market.

This, however, is home to another Cruzcampo Origen tank pub! Look, see, the tanks overhead?!

And it’s alright. Tastes better than the bottled stuff we had over the river. Perhaps it is better. In any case the Origen glasses look different – and the allusion that this is something new and improved does pique the interest in idiots like me. They may have a point… on the other hand, this could be an exercise in turd polishing.

This market though… it’s one for your millennials, it's virtually imploring us old farts to depart. We’re reasonably happy to oblige.

79. Tue 18/4/17: Taberna Tirso de Molina, Madrid

Beer: San Miguel 5%

Our local pub – two minutes from our flat. Again this is a darkly lit, dark wood (certainly darker than the ubiquitous brown in British boozers) – but not evoking Bavaria this time, rather the Nineteenth Century Paris of Toulouse Lautrec… apologise, sometimes ones CSE Grade 4 Art training just kicks in. Art Nouveau is it? Not sure how/where that succeeds or falls – but there are faint touches of grandiose, from stained glass windows to ceilings bedecked with chandeliers and mirrors.

Maybe where it does succeed is in that the décor doesn’t render the bar any more or less poncey than any other fairly decent bar on the corner of a city centre square.

A sign in the pub suggests that they’ll be screening Leicester v Atletico a little later. Not sure why we’re bothered, but we decide to pop by and have a look. When the football does start, the hostelries of Madrid are screening Real v Bayern, being played just up the road, en masse (including this place, so we don’t stay).

81. Tue 18/4/17: Restaurante Asador, Madrid

Beer: Mahou 5%

Last bar of the evening is a small standard tapas bar on the square; nothing much to say for or against it. There are some nice hanging plants over the window and bar. The gratis tapas are a very acceptable variety of green olive. The beer is served in chalices. The beer is Mahou.

I have vague recollection of Real Madrid v Bayern Munich on the telly – and our not really wanting to watch it; and our looking for the bar advertising their screening Leicester v Atletico (and our, oddly, giving a toss) and our not finding it, and going back to our flat instead. We’re tired.

31. Sunday 090417: Bodeguita La Mar de Bueno, Malaga

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Bar with a shellfish counter. We’ve been to Malaga a number of times and this is a great concept, which we’ve never taken full advantage of… but buying the prawns/langoustine etc is difficult for the non-Spanish speaker.

The service is rather brusque, and they’re ready to close at 4.30pm

We’re served Cruzcampo in nice glasses which state “Cruzcampo Gran Reserva”, to which my notes disparagingly suggest, though they’ve attempted to polish a turd, still tastes like s***. Bit rude that. Cruzcampo isn’t my favourite lager, but on occasion it can be disarmingly refreshing.

I was probably a bit miffed at feeling hurried and/or frustrated that I couldn’t order a serving of great big crab legs.

48. Thu 13/4/17: Bodeguita Cerrillo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

On previous visits we’ve stayed at an apartment just around the corner from this little (acutely angled) corner bar, and have popped in for first and/or last drinks. There’s room for half a dozen folk inside, at a push, and a similar number outside being served from bar window. We’re outside this afternoon and, mercifully at odds with other establishments today, it’s nice and quiet – just a couple of black widows* and their beaus.

It’s not a bad bar – there’s not enough room for it to go too far wrong. Very basic tapas and no religious or bull fighting flim flammery on the walls.

* A costume relating to Semana Santa: the women (of all ages) dress head to toe in black gowns, with elaborate head pieces. It may just be a Maundy Thursday thing – there certainly seemed to be a lot of them about that day.



No pictures

66. Sunday 160417: Enoteca El Arena, Mercado de Arenal, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Just round the corner from the Meeting Point (see no.65), but in the central aisle of the market; where the natural light streams in to illuminate the Rick Stein endorsed fish restaurant and this – the only other bar that’s open. It’s more wine than beer centric; bottled Cruzcampo the only concession to cerveza, but punters can sit up at the bar - which is a bonus.

On the little telly in the corner they’re showing bullfighting highlights. It’s fascinating and appalling in unequal measure. I am impressed by the Spanish peoples’ love affair with it, but the more I see (particularly the gory finales) the more bemusement/distaste increases and empathy fades.

64. Sun 16/4/17: Bar Europa, Seville

Beer: Estrella Galicia 5%

After yesterday afternoons (thru to this mornings) unfortunate incident, it’s almost 14:30 before we’re back to “back in a bar” normality. After the trauma it’s hard to get into the mundanity of the cups.

The Bar Europa is a nice enough place though. It seems to harbour some memory toward a past age of decadence – Art Nouveau and/or Deco? – I don’t know. But it’s a nice quiet and relaxed pub on the corner of the bustling square round the corner from us.

It’s nice. Nice to be back although I, let alone Steph, am exhausted.

SA insight: Very traditional. Nice tiles.

80. Tue 1/4/17: La barro del teatro, Madrid

Beer: Mahou 5%

Right next door to the theatre in the square and apparently owned/staffed by Indians, which is odd but good to see.

Mind you, it is WAY too hot in here. The pub is wide and open (not airy), with a single bar pump serving Mahou.

Disappointingly the tapas are pretty standard fayre – would it be too much to suggest Indian food? I could kill a curry (upon my return to Blighty, I kill two in two days). There’s a smell of curry coming from somewhere – it smells lovely, and makes me feel homesick.

There are big queues for the theatre outside. Not sure what’s on – there are giant billboards for two shows outside (I should have photographed them). The queues die down by the time we depart.

 

58. Fri 14/4/17: El Cangrejo, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Untrendy bar in Rinconcillo environs. The area is packed, but this place has ample room at the bar. It appears to be run by a young couple, whose kid sits on the beer kegs – tapping away, bored, on a device.

Nice tiles – too clean – no patina.

Suffice to say that this bar really wasn’t too noteworthy – although the notes that do exist convey some sympathy with the owners of an empty bar in a busy area. They also have a pop at their serving Cruzcampo, which seems more than a little uncharitable – what was I expecting? London Pride?

45 Wed 12/4/17: Café Santos, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

From Triana we return back to our apartment by a tortuous route through Semana Santa crowds and processions. We get lost, but eventually find our bearings – and our way back to our accommodation; which is in itself right in the centre of all the activity. Our apartment faces Calle Cuna through which many processions, returning from the cathedral, pass.

The crowds and congestion and fear of getting lost again - leave us wary of going too far away in case we get stranded. We get stuff in from the supermarket, and decamp to this bar – on the street/alley where our apartment’s situated. The procession is due to pass at 10pm. It’s 8.30pm when we get to Café Santos, but we’re not risking going any further.

Rowland serving C'campo

The bar is more back street than we’d normally consider. It’s perfectly alright, bog standard basic, tables and plastic chairs and beer served in wine glasses. The barman, I reckon, looks like Kevin Rowland.

At the table over the way sit a very matriarchal family. The blokes are left holding the babies while several generations of women hold court… seemingly in an air of perpetual mild disapproval. Matriarchs are great. It’s noticeable how the Madonna is venerated, apparently more than her boy. Almost all the processions have two pasos: one, the first, will feature Jesus suffering during some part of his last few days and hours. The Mary paso is the main attraction. It’s almost as if Jesus’ suffering was secondary to Mary’s grief… there’s a theological debate there somewhere; the apparent backlash against the inherent sexism of plans hatched between father and son, with scant regard to the emotional wellbeing of the mother.

A glass smashes somewhere in the bar. Nobody cheers. Idiot foreigners.

47 Thu 13/4/17: Casa Morales, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

The second oldest bar in Seville is an exceptional pub near the Cathedral. We need it quite a bit quieter than this in order to enjoy it though. The whole world and his widow* are in. Casa Morales has two bars, quite different, and the only place we manage to secure this time round is a small bit of shelf in the back bar – with the giant Romanesque (or Roman) wine amphorae.

The front bar is generally nicer, usually more spacious - and certainly lets in far more light.

* relates to the fact that, perhaps only on Maundy Thursday, Andalusian ladies are wont to dress all in black (albeit very glamorously, with a big tall headpiece).

27 Fri 7/4/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Nethergate Green and Pleasant Land 4.3%, Milestone Maid Marion 4.3%

Arrived at 8:30pm, brother and Leighton and Dr No all in attendance. No Offence is now on first name terms with Leightron, and in some tenuous round share and fag reciprocal arrangement. He has issues. He has suffered offence. He is insufferable. That said, at this rate, he’ll be one of our new mates.

As it is, my brother and I stand at the quizzer, wincing at them tales of woe (uncharitably); even feigning a win (by throwing coins in to the “win tray”) to justify our extended stay.

No Offence likes my fountain pen – pretends he’s going to steal it, before reassuring that “I would never steal your pen young man” or “my friend”, one of them.

Pete is in. Like Pete. Pete, it turns out, hails from York. Who, as they say in modern parlance, knew? Pete did, and now we do. Pete is going to The Bear Club after having a couple of pints with us.

Anthony is also in. He’s wearing what looks like an old USSR propaganda poster design t-shirt, but turns out to be piece of merch’ from the band “Mogwai”. I pour scorn on that.

Martin’s in later. No Barry.

51 Thu 13/4/17: Café Santos, Calle Lagar, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Back in very localest bar – hemmed in by the crowds. It’s quieter (in the bar) than yesterday. The bar still has some Christmas decorations up… I notice this while being roundly ignored, waiting to be served. My petulant bar-rage protestations are vocal enough to warrant a telling off from Steph… and I’m eventually served.

Our beer tonight is served in beer, rather than wine, glasses.

Back at the apartment, the processions tonight, leading into Good Friday, are spectacular.

There’s been a horrible nagging worry throughout (given recent events at home) that the festival could be open to terrorist attack. The Silencio procession passes through at around 4am Friday morning. Most processions include one or two bands but, because this one is so quiet, it is quite eerie. At some point as it passes through, a wave of panic grips the crowd. Steph watches from our balcony vantage point overlooking Calle Cuna as public and penitents flee. I’m on the sofa watching telly at that point - and just hear the stampede. It’s a horribly scary sound. It rolls through quickly – gradually followed by (hushed) reassurances that things are fine… and the parade continues. There are a couple of similar disturbances afterwards – each subsequent time lessening in intensity.

We glean, from later reports on the internet, that there were false rumours of cars running down pedestrians – of fights causing panic, and kids deliberately making sudden noises to scare the crowd.

We’ve seen all the parades pass from the second floor, but go down at about 6am to watch the Macarena procession pass by at ground level. It’s spectacular; we’re almost asphyxiated with incense, but air is just as thick with lingering fear of what’s happened (and equally what didn’t/what might’ve) earlier. Folk seem jumpy, but the procession passes by peacefully.

28 Sat 8/4/17: Wigmore Arms, Luton

Beer: Charles Wells Bombardier 4.1%

On the eve of our Easter holiday to Spain (Malaga/Seville/Madrid) Steph and I pop into the Wigmore for some last “decent beer” and to watch the Grand National. Steph has a tip, from her Dad, on the basis that it name checks her great uncle: “One for Arthur”. I’ve put £2.50 each way on for Steph, and £3 on the nose for me. The horse isn’t mentioned at all for most of the race (with our grumbling that they shouldn’t take bets on non-runners) then… only goes and wins. The first time I’ve ever backed a Grand National winner. We get around £45 each – which is better than a kick in the teeth.

There’s clearly some others in the pub who have won too.



Rockabilly fellow asks his mate, whose blue overalls are covered in paint, whether fifth place pays on an each way bet. He doesn’t think so (and neither do we… not that we’re asked). That’s the rockabilly fellow seen in the picture – saluting his missus on the way to the bookies to collect on a better placed bet.

Rockabilly fellow's mate, I’d suggest, doesn’t work in an office.

65 Sun 16/4/17: The Meeting Point, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

We’d planned to take in the atmosphere outside the first bullfight of the year in Arenal – but since yesterday there’s also the theory that Arenal has it in for us, as we’re generally anti-bullfighting, so we need to get back there. We even go to the shop where the accident happened – they’ve fitted their marble step with anti-slip tape (we’d been encouraged via texts/messages from back home to sue but, like bullfighters, we’re disdainful of ambulance chasers).

Our first stop is the generally deserted (one-time Rick Stein patronised) market. We manage to get hawked into a very basic market bar and served up Cruzcampo. Unlike the other (trendier) markets in the area, everything is at service counter level here (or at least at this bar). There are no high stools at the bar, and it misses out as a result. We’re sat on wobbly chairs at a wobbly table wondering where to wander to next…

32 Sun 9/4/17: El Rincon Iberico, Malaga

Beer: San Miguel 5.0%
Having watched another Semana Santa procession wend its way laboriously up Malaga’s main drag we stumble through the crowds and into this bar. It’s mercifully quiet in here, and it’s serving San Miguel which is a welcome change from Cruzcampo.

Well maintained, clean and boring. The tapas counter has three small dishes, and one apple, on show. Celta Vigo v Eibar is on the telly.

The photographs I took in this bar were the worst yet. To make up for this, and to bolster my top reportage photographer delusions (I have a degree), I’ll attach a snap of a Semana Santa peso (the big floats). In Malaga the pesos where hauled by costumed men (including some blindfolded, some others barefooted) carrying via a number of large struts in front and behind the peso. In Seville the costaleros are invisible as they carry the pesos from underneath.

33 Sun 9/4/17: Cafeteria Plata, Malaga

Beer: San Miguel 5.4%

Post-procession we meander back over the (nominal/largely dried up) river towards our apartment. This is a very clean and decent bar, serving bottles of San Miguel and tapas. We have some Russian Salad and Patatas Bravas – although the cabinet also boasts something else Russian Saladesque, but with additional unction and crab stickery. We had one or the other… I can’t remember although, if it was just a case of pointing, I can’t see that we wouldn’t have plumped for RS+.

A quiet last drink of the evening was pleasantly enlivened by a returning paso, back from the Cathedral and wending its way back to its parish. Pleasingly, the crowds hadn’t followed, and the procession has a friends and family (some clergy no doubt) feel. The bell on the paso was struck for a break near to the bar – and several penitents (mostly whipping off their hoods beforehand) and bearers dived into the bar for water and/or a wee.

Stephanie insight: bar is a bit rubbish (my notes say I concur though, in retrospect, that seems a little harsh).

42 Wed 12/04/2017: Bar Santa Ana, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Best bar in Triana which, to my mind, is the best area of Seville. There’s a sense of brotherhood and community in the gypsy quarter which (although it almost certainly exists) isn’t quite so apparent across the Guadalquivir. This side of the river seems more laid back, and not so touristy, as the other areas we frequent. The bars, I find, have a different character – with service which sometimes seems withering towards us idiot English speakers. I quite like that, it reminds me of Czech.

Anyway “our bar” in Triana has been found by others during Semana Santa, although it isn’t unbearably packed. Almost all the pictures (and most of the tiles) on the walls are Semana Santa based – the church is right next door, and the local peso hangar is just over the road. There are also a few Toro photos and a huge bulls head on the wall.

There was an ad on Semana Santa telly for a bread product that is clearly part of the tradition. There’s some of it on the bar – and a bloke sitting at the corner of the bar orders a slice. I’m gazing, in a world of my own, at the transaction and wondering how the bloke will tackle the unctuous slice. With the spoon… it looks soft… and then the bloke starts talking to me – and pointing me out to the barman. I thought, at first, he’d noticed how my miserable bar presence was floundering. You’ve got to shout at the bar people here when it’s busy – but I’m an Englishman, and particularly reserved example at that. But, no, he’s asking (and preparing to pay) for a slice of the bread for me. A charming gesture… once I’d sussed out what he was up to. The bread appeared to have been soaked in syrup, and is/was extremely sweet. Nice enough though and, again a lovely gesture. Anyway, he offered monies, but the syrup bread was gratis.

My notes on the visit include two other observations: 1) Young gentlemen wearing beards, as is the fashion these days, mean there are lots of fellows around these days who look a little bit like Jesus. 2) Bars go big for coffee over here. There are those who’d argue a good coffee is better than a good beer (and you don’t get a good beer over here). I prefer beer intoxication over caffeine, but maybe it’s a dialogue that deserves exploration…. but not here and now.

62 Sat 150417: Bar Santa Ana, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Our second and last visit to Bar Santa Ana this trip. Outside the tables are full of sartorially exquisite extended families, but there’s room at the bar for us tourist sloths.

Even so (or because of this) it takes ages to get served – and when I do get to ask, the order doesn’t take. When the beer does flow its back to crappy Cruzcampo.

Still, this is still a fantastic place.

43 Wed 120417: Taberna Miami, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5%

Triana’s main drag, leading to the bridge over the river, isn’t an area we’ve fully explored, we’ll always take side streets in preference; but we’re in a general mooching around mood on a Wednesday afternoon. Most places, inevitably, are packed. Taberna Miama looked the best of the bar bunch – all tiles and lager barrels on show – and crucially not wedged. Quite empty actually.

There’s a small crocodile suspended from the ceiling (reminiscent of Brno town hall). There’s other quirky touches in this sprawling hostelry; lots of wooden barrels, interesting pictures, vintage bullfighting memorabilia and general ramshack. It’s the kind of place, I suggest, that we might have latched onto and decided we liked: a half decent place… so, asks Steph, why’s it empty? She has a point.

There’s no-one in apart from us, but it’s extremely noisy – with the air con and/or fridge buzzing loudly. And, Steph adds, it’s smelly. Still, given all that, I quite liked the place. We didn’t stay for a second.