510b. Fri 2/11/18: The Lady Hamilton, Zurich, Switzerland

Beer: Heineken International Heineken 5%

After a long day’s travel and after pitching up at my self-serve lodgings in the heart of Zurich’s bustling bar’n’ brothel zone, I was under-researched, but in no mood for adventure. Which led me, firstly to The Lord Nelson. No seats. The upstairs bar, The Lady Hamilton, was more accommodating.

The Hamilton's interior is lifted from an English pub devoid of leprechauns or old bits of agricultural machinery. There's a wide selection of lager, most of which I’ve tasted and am confident taste EXACTLY the same as each other. More or less. I’m able to pay by card, but there’s a 30 Franc minimum, so I’m given a hefty amount of change and am unexpectedly the sulky owner of Swiss currency.

English pub. Euro beer. Swiss money. American soft rock, then American raunchy rubbish with a big beat. The crowd grows steadily while I sit and try and read. The emerging clientele is young, loud and enjoying the Halloween decorations. The table next to me is dominated by some bloke pontificating and provoking one young lady into giggling with enough shrill enthusiasm and volume to cover the music. She’s a happy soul; half human/three quarters gerbil, pausing her mirth only for the occasional breath. She needn’t bother.

To my right, an older couple, eating a meal, dressed nice. Not dressed up, but nice. They, like me, are clearly in the wrong place. I leave as the music’s turned up, feeling vaguely disconnected with the rest of mankind. There’s a club night coming up; one of the DJs is called “Meh”. DJ Meh.

543. Friday 09/11/18: Palác Akropolis, Prague, Czech Republic

Beer: Pilsner Urquell 4.4%

We’ve been once, some years ago, to Žižkov's premier (proper) venue, the Akropolis, to see a band. We must’ve largely stumbled into the gig, it wasn’t planned. Great venue, mind – an old theatre venue, nice and small with a good sound. Been there once.

Thought we’d pop in for a beer on our last day though. The bar at the Akropolis on a Friday afternoon is underwhelming but, without the pretensions hoisted onto too many other places in Prague these days, that seems like a breath of fresh air.

The Pilsner Urquell isn’t at its best. It’s a bit warm. Stephanie struggles with A) trying to send a text to my brother, which seemingly refuses to go through and B) a beer fly, against which she waves hands and urgently suggests that he/she ought to “f*ck off”.

 

527a. Tues 6/11/18: U Hrocha, Prague

Beer: Pilsner Urquell 4.4%

A tiny bar - well two tiny bars, separated by a passageway - up among the embassies behind Malostranská Namesti. We tried coming here last year, but couldn’t get in. This year, we’ve come early, straight from the Museum of Oppression, housed within the base of the old statue of Stalin.

We’re in luck, kind of. TPK advises that he and SA usually sit in the window. There’s space there, he points out, for two. Not three. I invite him to remain stood up. It doesn’t go down well, so I invite the two of them to sit and I perch nearby, getting in people’s way. That’s how I remember it. There's definitely some moving around and fitting in where we can. A group of teeny kids don’t have the same problem, although they’re at odds with the older demographic and don’t hang around long.

539. Thu 8/11/18: U Medvídků, Prague

Beer: Old Gott 5.2%

Back at the Little Bears; it’s a little busier than earlier in the week, but still room to sit in the brewery bar. The couple next to us are tackling a pork knuckle – a huge great thing. It’s a joint, it becomes clear, best shared. The fella takes the lead, and does a fine job carving. Looks delicious… I’m never going to try it while I’m with veggies… anyway, we’re here for the beer.

Where’s the old boy who used to do all the brewing this year? We’ve not been in here when they’ve had a brew on. That’s undoubtedly the incorrect term, but we’ve been in here before when it’s more like a sauna – the whole place infused with the smells of brewing the beer we’re drinking. It’s lovely. We’ve rather missed that.

Instead, hidden away in the brewery section (separated from the dining area by glass partition) a couple of ladies are filling bottles individually by hand. It is, presumably, the famous strong/seasonal X33 lager. It seems a charmingly archaic labour intensive operation… and we eventually buy a couple of bottles for Christmas presents. They’re .33ltr bottles, and cost about a tenner a pop. For all its (variable) charm, this is still a pretty cynical tourist trap.

Good beer mind… the Old Gott. Goodness knows what’s in the bottles.