300b. Sat 10/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Banks & Taylor Crooked Hooker 4.7%

Late Saturday night pub, celebrating and blowing smoke for Lee after the Light/Shade event at Wardown House. To be fair, the boy done very good indeed, and he and Anna seem in good spirits.

Chat revolves around 'projects', nights, work and the pros and cons of various aspects connected to each of them. And poetry. We're joined by Lawrence who's interested in something going on where I work. And poetry.

Meanwhile, Al's soldering behind the bar, training a new recruit who can ease what appears to be something of a shortage of weekend help. It's fairly busy - standing room only, which is pretty good - and despite my reservations about B&T beer, the Hooker is pretty good. Fnarr.

577. Tue 25/12/18: The Wigmore Arms, Luton

Beer: Marston’s Pedigree 4.5%

Two Wiggy visits in two days – this time it’s an early afternoon pre-dinner session with Steph and her folks. Again, the place is busy, but we manage to get a table in the main/front/lounge bar so can gauge the effect of the recent refurbishment – which has changed the pub into a branch of the “Sizzling Pub Grill” brand that nobody’s heard of. The most obvious change, for me, is that they’ve gotten rid of the wordy (boring, to be honest) history of the Wigmore family, misappropriated Holbein illustration and all, from the wall. This they’ve replaced with a big “Sizzler” decal screaming: “FRESH from our GRILL”… A beer mat on our table informs that Sizzler can provide us with a seasonal Cherry Bakewell Cocktail.

Have, Steph’s Mum wonders, they gotten rid of the lady who used to cook here? I suggest maybe not. I’m facing towards the bar and catch sight of the lady in question – apparently still employed in the kitchens.

Tables are full, mainly with family groups. A kid on the table next to ours is playing with his new Harry Potter wand. It’s all very convivial and noisy – the Wigmore regulars festive loud, but not boisterous. The tellies run through a selection of cheesy seasonal hits, thankfully the volume isn’t turned up as loud as yesterday. Macca is still enjoying his wonderful Chrismastime.

I have my back to the window. Steph and Roy are looking outside – gleaning a fair degree of entertainment from the steady, if not heavy, stream of cars driving into Asda – their drivers believing the petrol station and/or supermarket are open on Christmas Day.

Back in the pub, numbers fluctuate, but the place remains quite packed. Packed and festive and nice: Merry Christmas everybody…

 

498a. Fri 12/10/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Titanic Cherry Dark 4.4%

Back from The Black Horse beer festival. The Brickies is fairly busy. L8s has a table in the back. He admonishes me and TPK for our high spirits. Not sure why he admonishes us, or why we're so cheerful. Or if we're that cheerful. Anyway, he does and we may be.

We knuckle down to the business of drinking dark, complicated Chocolate and Vanilla Stout. It's sweet and the flavours are childish, but the beer's very good.

105. Tue 30/5/17: The Bear Club, Luton

Beer: Leighton Buzzard Smokin’ Angel Porter 5%, Leighton Buzzard Black Buzzard 5.8%

At The Bear at the invitation of my brother, who has a cameo role in the British Independent film The Same Circles directed by Mark Garvey, written produced and starring Simon Cleary.

Simon is a friend of the KOs/Clod Mag, a Quiet Night (Slow Night - ed) regular and a fascinating, fantastic and wonderfully creative fellow. AJKingston’s part is to ride up on a bike, inform Cleary’s revengeful character that he doesn’t know of the man he is looking for – and ride off. Simon Cleary does almost everything else – with tremendous gusto. I’m not sure what to make of the film, apart from being full of bemused admiration for Simon – and being impressed with some very nice individual shots.

It’s good to see a screening at The Bear, what with Justin’s Filmstock background, and the room is full – albeit of folk who either have bit parts in the film, or know them that do.

284a. Sat 6/1/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Nethergate Red Poll 4.2%

Late night stop after exhausting, enjoyable round trip to Newcastle to see the Town. The journey back featured some rather questionable musical choices in the car, then one of those horror film late night Thameslink trains from Bedford, empty save for me, JtCF and a couple of weirdos in tracksuits. The train was starkly lit and I fully expected weirdos' "special messages".

By contrast, the Brickies was convivial. The removal of Christmas decorations gave it an airy feel and although reasonably busy, me and JtC Fish were able to secure the best table in the front bar (corner closest to the arch with the more substantial, comfier chairs). The Red Poll went down very well.

291. Wed 24/1/18: The Frog & Rhubarb, Slip End, Luton

Beer: Greene King Mighty Moose IPA 5.6%

Curry Club in Slip End. I’ve made plans to possibly meet me Dad in the pub beforehand, although he’s not sure he’ll be able to make it. I don’t expect he will.

The beer is very drinkable, but at least 1% too strong. Why so strong GK? But nevertheless, good job, well done.

The Frog is quiet. Apart from me there’s one bloke sitting at the bar, wearing a bobble hat, engrossed in his phone – and another lady sat in the dining area. Like me, she’s sat alone on a table with far more seats than takers.

This is the last entry in my notebook #4 which I purchased at The Prado in Madrid. It’s a detail from Bosch’s Garden of Heavenly Delights (specifically the scary panel). My new notebook, bought in Kutna Hora in November, is decidedly less highbrow. It features a cartoon penguin.

My Dad does arrive – which means I have maybe a pint too many of this very nice, but very strong, beer.

460a. Sat 11/8/18: The Black Horse, Luton

Beer: Goffs Brewery Cheltenham Gold 4.5%

First home game of the season in League 1 against the formidable Sunderland. Conflicting feelings about the projected outcome. Some think we'll lose badly, others with that early season optimism (ended up 1-1 and we gave a good account of ourselves). All showing off our pristine season tickets, one was even deflowered at the table.

Bit of a giggle at my fellow blogger's attempt to be "with it" wearing his distressed, torn jeans. A discussion comparing blogging methods was had. I don't think any blogger has written about the same visit. Until now.

298. Sat 3/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Shefford Plum Mild 3.8%

LUTON TOWN 1 EXETER CITY 0

The Six Nations rugby has started and the rugger buggers have the back bar (its only France v Ireland, so there aren’t too many of them). I grudgingly appreciate the rugby fans down the pub – their presence does change the atmosphere in the place, and not entirely detrimentally. Despite the apparent neanderthal nature of the game, those showing an interest seem largely better mannered than your average football fan.

Anyway, despite their being here, the pub doesn’t seem as packed as normal (though it’s standing room only).

The Hegleys are in – and I have my book to swap with John (he’s forgotten mine). Marcel and Paul are stood by the stairs (we’re at the back bar), and John starts reciting some of the haiku to them. Almost immediately he finds one with a four syllable opening line – so I correct his copy by inserting the word “big”*.

John goes on to find: a haiku that mentions him (which I wincingly suggest has a whiff of toadying about it) and a haiku he particularly likes. I wish I could have taped his reciting my “poetry” to his (increasingly bemused/irritated) family members.

Town win, and I get an ego massage to boot. Good day.

* we’re happy to provide this service to owners of Luton Haiku v5 but, on the off chance that we’re not around, please add the word yourself – the offending haiku is the one about the man who threw a pie at an opening match of the football season (so it’ll be sometime in August).

441a. Mon 2/7/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Oakham Jeffrey Hudson Bitter 3.8%

Pub quiz. Our team is rocked by the non-appearance of A-Haitch, who's bushed. As is customary these days, the locals claim tables with place markers (strategically placed pints and bunches of keys). We perch around a table dragged in from the back bar, pick a bad joker and slump to LAST PLACE at the break.

It gets worse. There's a round about the songs from The Lion King. I'd like to blame Pete, our emergency fourth member, for this. But I think it's me who pushes for "Gatwick Airport" on a question where the answer is "One Hundred Acre Wood". Somehow, after who knew what, we didn't come last.

We do, however, need A-Haitch back in the team on the next solstice.

484. Fri 21/9/18: The Brewery Tap, Luton

Beer: Skinners Knocker 4.5%

Sneaky post-work pint at the BT as I contemplate an early evening solo trip to Markyate, again, to try out The Local micropub. The Tap is a far better prospect at this time of day than it seems at night (see episode #446): no bouncers on the door – possibly busier (there’s probably around a dozen folk in the place) – and extremely helpful bar lady. Would I like to taste the different beers (there are two…can’t remember the other one)? Yes, thank you very much… mmm… I’ll have a pint of [the above] thank you”.

Bar lady is very careful over the pouring, and keeps the pint behind the bar as she accepts the money – so as to be certain it’s a full pint once fully settled. Fine. Good service. She’s then called away, before giving me the pint… leading me with a dilemma. Do I wait for her to return? Do I lean over and grab it? Luckily another colleague wanders past, and I ask her.

That’s the highlight of a one-pint visit. I play on the quizzer, I bemoan the fact that the music is a bit too loud – Billie bloody Jean… “the kid is not my son”… who’d have thought? I decide that, yes, I will attempt a trip to Markyate (do I get there though, dear reader? see episode #485… “The White House”).

389. Thu 12/4/18: The White House, Luton

Beer: Tring Tea Kettle Stout 4.7%

The ongoing shenanigans at the place I live has meant that I’m now a director of a company. The whole thing is absurd and the first meeting is upstairs at The White House. I meet the company secretary. He requests a pint of Abbott. Good man. I’m on coffee, like an idiot.

Once the meeting is over, I bid my… colleague(?) adieu, and have a proper pint myself.

Tring beer is usually very good, and I’ve been very keen on stouts and porters recently. With such heightened expectations, I found the Kettle Stout just about whelming.

Thursday afternoon at the JDWWH is laudably busy – impressive to a blue chip on the shoulder company director such as I – and many of the patrons seem to be enjoying a curry. Smells quite a bit – but being rather partial to a curry myself I took no offence whatsoever.

471e. Thu 6/9/18: The George II. 70 Bute St, Luton

Beer: Morland Old Golden Hen 4.1%

Post Utter! panic drink at The George. Which is its usual untidy, rambunctious self and quite a contrast from the Crush Bar. The George is the first pub from the station on the way into town and always has an outlaw feel and is always grubby.

Still, the opportunity to chat through what was a very decent night of spoken word (yes, they can happen) was grabbed and enjoyed. The evening's success and good vibes were almost turned on their heads when I purposefully stride into the ladies lav, but there are no ladies around, so I get away with it and spend some quality time yabbering with SW, LN and PA. Lee's plotting and scheming his next coup and in generally good spirits.

A few other waifs and strays drift by on their way to The Wheelies and are pleased to see us. Almost too pleased; I'm knackered.

386a. Wed 4/4/18: The Frog & Rhubarb, Slip End, Luton

Beer: Bath Ales Gem 4.1%

A slightly fraught bus journey up to Slip End from Luton town centre (left wallet in office, ran back to fetch it, retrieved wallet, consequently needed the loo, missed the bus, 30 min wait for next one). Spring brings clouds, sparrows and airplanes climbing in a westerly direction. Much like any other season.

I half expect DGK to be ensconced in the front bar area, though am greeted by TPK . He's had an even more useless journey up. I lend him £20. We're joined by DGK and SDK, have another pint of the same then repair to 7CC for a curry. Frog's not bad for a meet-up place; slightly more welcoming than The Rising Sun, with slightly better beer.

420. Mon 28/5/18: The White House, Luton

Beer: Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%

Sultry Bank Holiday weekend afternoon. Back from work (working on this) and the gym and looking to muster enthusiasm for a few beers, a curry and an early night. It’s too hot though; I’m too weighed down with gym baggage and camera.

The JDWWH is as it tends to be on days like these – the outside seating is packed and bawdy, it’s considerably quieter inside.

Inside there’s the usual family groups, groups of middle aged men, a few sad loners like me – the real topers down at the bottom bar. The beer is alright, the tables are sticky, I opt out of a second.

150. Fri 18/8/17: The Great Northern, Luton

Beer: St Austell Tribute 4.0%

Don’t like Tribute, it’s too sweet; I do like this pub though. There was rumour that this place was closing too, a few months ago, but thankfully, apparently, there’s new management in. Same old (predominantly aged Irish) clientele. The place is nicely, sparsely, populated. Pete Savage is at the bar, in conversation with other people, and we decide to vocally bemoan his “blanking” us… retrospectively we discussed how rude of us that was.

The last orders bell goes at 11pm sharp – and Leighton calls it a day. We go back for one last look in The Brickies.

 

391. Sat 14/4/18: The Black Horse, Luton

Beer: Three Brewers of St Albans Gold 4.1%

Pre-match, Town v Crewe. Notts County ticket distribution, and train arrangement is the order of the afternoon, while the BH is serving reasonably weak beers this week.

World War Three apparently has, or hasn’t, just started in Syria – stuff like going to the pub and the football match seems so much civilised than the bullshit that our elected (and unelected) leaders are coming out with at the moment. The news boycott that my brother has talked of for a few months, seems reasonably sensible at the moment… I can’t stand hearing what that ridiculous warmongering clown Trump has to say at the best of times.

261. Wed 13/12/17: The Brewery Tap, Luton

Beer: Hardy & Hansons Rocking Rudolph 4.2%

Toss a coin in the gym changing room. Its heads – so I ditch fitness and go down pub.

Since reading the blog, up there on the internet, I have changed the way I’ve written – and the pubs I’ve visited. My decision to go to The Tap was based on not having written it up thus far, and that I’ve gone and thunk up “an angle”.

This visit, nay this whole enterprise, is informed by Orwell’s 1946 essay The Moon Under Water, about the perfect pub. The boozer of this Orwellian utopia - TMUW (spoiler alert) doesn’t exist.

The brewery to which this pub recalls was demolished in 1977 – so both Orwell's essay, and Luton’s Brewery Tap pub recall things that are lost to time.

Who, one wonders, was the last whimsical toper who sat in this pub fondly recalling foaming pints of JWGreen’s Dragon’s Blood? Who can tell? Maybe he/she is in here now… they’ll be getting on mind.

Green’s was bought out by Whitbread – who lost interest in brewing years ago (not before everyone lost interest in their lousy beer). Hardy and Hansons were bought up and closed down by Greene King a decade ago – but Rocking Rudolph is, though possibly not what it was, perfectly decent.

432a. Fri 22/6/18: The Smithfield, Luton Airport

Beer: Fullers London Pride (bottled) 4.7%

Waiting for a plane to Edinburgh. Long weekend with old friends coming up. As is de rigeur for airport waits, pint is partaken AM. Attendant at front of house helpfully informed us that if we just wanted a drink we could either take a table or stand at the bar. Very grateful for that advice as I'd be lost otherwise. Only handpump on was some Greene King ale so plumped for bottle of LP. I'm flying with James, a long standing friend from VI form days. Some excitement at the bar as a can of beer spontaneously ejected beer onto everyone from a high shelf.

401. Sat 28/4/18: The Bricklayers Arms. 16-18 High Town Road, Luton

Beer: Cotleigh Barn Owl 4.5%

LUTON TOWN 3 FOREST GREEN ROVERS 1

Hoorah! The Town are going up!

We knew this, of course, last week – so the atmosphere at the ground is celebratory and good humoured, but not ecstatic.

The celebrations at the end went on a bit. The pitch invasion at the final whistle caused rancour amongst supporters who respected the request to stay put for the time being. Of course fans should keep off the pitch until given permission (so the players and their families could complete their lap of honour) and maybe they deserved the abuse from the stands, but it’s not a great thing to see or hear. Once the pitch was cleared the whole extended awarding of the runners up trophy was way too long and contrived.

I like a good pitch invasion, me… possibly not as much as I did when I was a kid; and these things are best done with joyous spontaneity – not held back until all the players (and all their children) have completed their lap of honour.

We finally got on the pitch, when they said that we could, and applauded the lads up in the Directors’ Box… but it was nice to get out of the ground and back down the pub.

We managed to get a table at the Brickies – possibly because most of the other fans were still at the ground, probably listening to the speech by the kit washer’s apprentice. We sit, rather drained and befuddled, and contemplate possible away trips next season. Sunderland and Bradford maybe?

 

406. Fri 4/5/18: The Crown, Luton

Beer: Greene King Band of Brothers 4.1%

Aged Market Hill boozer, currently under bored (though not negligent) GK stewardship. Aesthetically it's fine, although the early evening clientele seem a little lairy… but that’s probably any town centre pub that one’s reasonably unfamiliar with.

It’s a big pub. I sit at a table near the entrance. It’s sticky.

The beer is a passable GK stab at a pale’n’hoppy IPA. It’s OK… I’m ill-convinced (of the style, and the brewer).

Two mature fellows enter the pub. I catch a solitary line of conversation “it’s a f*ckin’ waste of time innit?” He may have a point. I don’t fancy another pint of BOB. I’m considering The Castle or The Red Lion – but going home seems more appealing.

A sandwich board outside advertises the fact that the pub will shortly be screening the Royal Wedding and the FA Cup Final on the same day (Saturday 19/518). Past that, on the seating under the Rotary Club clock, what looks like a homeless old boy (and/or a p*ssed old b*stard) is getting hassled by a couple of coppers. It’s grim street theatre; folk from the pub congregate around the doorway to get a better look while they have a fag. I take pictures through the window of the scene juxtaposed against the Royal Wedding ad.

Market Hill evenings have something of a quietly sinister edge. It’s like Hogarth’s Gin Lane in Luton sometimes… it’s probably not quite that bad at the moment (though it certainly isn’t Beer Street convivial).