300b. Sat 10/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Banks & Taylor Crooked Hooker 4.7%

Late Saturday night pub, celebrating and blowing smoke for Lee after the Light/Shade event at Wardown House. To be fair, the boy done very good indeed, and he and Anna seem in good spirits.

Chat revolves around 'projects', nights, work and the pros and cons of various aspects connected to each of them. And poetry. We're joined by Lawrence who's interested in something going on where I work. And poetry.

Meanwhile, Al's soldering behind the bar, training a new recruit who can ease what appears to be something of a shortage of weekend help. It's fairly busy - standing room only, which is pretty good - and despite my reservations about B&T beer, the Hooker is pretty good. Fnarr.

498a. Fri 12/10/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Titanic Cherry Dark 4.4%

Back from The Black Horse beer festival. The Brickies is fairly busy. L8s has a table in the back. He admonishes me and TPK for our high spirits. Not sure why he admonishes us, or why we're so cheerful. Or if we're that cheerful. Anyway, he does and we may be.

We knuckle down to the business of drinking dark, complicated Chocolate and Vanilla Stout. It's sweet and the flavours are childish, but the beer's very good.

284a. Sat 6/1/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Nethergate Red Poll 4.2%

Late night stop after exhausting, enjoyable round trip to Newcastle to see the Town. The journey back featured some rather questionable musical choices in the car, then one of those horror film late night Thameslink trains from Bedford, empty save for me, JtCF and a couple of weirdos in tracksuits. The train was starkly lit and I fully expected weirdos' "special messages".

By contrast, the Brickies was convivial. The removal of Christmas decorations gave it an airy feel and although reasonably busy, me and JtC Fish were able to secure the best table in the front bar (corner closest to the arch with the more substantial, comfier chairs). The Red Poll went down very well.

298. Sat 3/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Shefford Plum Mild 3.8%

LUTON TOWN 1 EXETER CITY 0

The Six Nations rugby has started and the rugger buggers have the back bar (its only France v Ireland, so there aren’t too many of them). I grudgingly appreciate the rugby fans down the pub – their presence does change the atmosphere in the place, and not entirely detrimentally. Despite the apparent neanderthal nature of the game, those showing an interest seem largely better mannered than your average football fan.

Anyway, despite their being here, the pub doesn’t seem as packed as normal (though it’s standing room only).

The Hegleys are in – and I have my book to swap with John (he’s forgotten mine). Marcel and Paul are stood by the stairs (we’re at the back bar), and John starts reciting some of the haiku to them. Almost immediately he finds one with a four syllable opening line – so I correct his copy by inserting the word “big”*.

John goes on to find: a haiku that mentions him (which I wincingly suggest has a whiff of toadying about it) and a haiku he particularly likes. I wish I could have taped his reciting my “poetry” to his (increasingly bemused/irritated) family members.

Town win, and I get an ego massage to boot. Good day.

* we’re happy to provide this service to owners of Luton Haiku v5 but, on the off chance that we’re not around, please add the word yourself – the offending haiku is the one about the man who threw a pie at an opening match of the football season (so it’ll be sometime in August).

441a. Mon 2/7/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Oakham Jeffrey Hudson Bitter 3.8%

Pub quiz. Our team is rocked by the non-appearance of A-Haitch, who's bushed. As is customary these days, the locals claim tables with place markers (strategically placed pints and bunches of keys). We perch around a table dragged in from the back bar, pick a bad joker and slump to LAST PLACE at the break.

It gets worse. There's a round about the songs from The Lion King. I'd like to blame Pete, our emergency fourth member, for this. But I think it's me who pushes for "Gatwick Airport" on a question where the answer is "One Hundred Acre Wood". Somehow, after who knew what, we didn't come last.

We do, however, need A-Haitch back in the team on the next solstice.

401. Sat 28/4/18: The Bricklayers Arms. 16-18 High Town Road, Luton

Beer: Cotleigh Barn Owl 4.5%

LUTON TOWN 3 FOREST GREEN ROVERS 1

Hoorah! The Town are going up!

We knew this, of course, last week – so the atmosphere at the ground is celebratory and good humoured, but not ecstatic.

The celebrations at the end went on a bit. The pitch invasion at the final whistle caused rancour amongst supporters who respected the request to stay put for the time being. Of course fans should keep off the pitch until given permission (so the players and their families could complete their lap of honour) and maybe they deserved the abuse from the stands, but it’s not a great thing to see or hear. Once the pitch was cleared the whole extended awarding of the runners up trophy was way too long and contrived.

I like a good pitch invasion, me… possibly not as much as I did when I was a kid; and these things are best done with joyous spontaneity – not held back until all the players (and all their children) have completed their lap of honour.

We finally got on the pitch, when they said that we could, and applauded the lads up in the Directors’ Box… but it was nice to get out of the ground and back down the pub.

We managed to get a table at the Brickies – possibly because most of the other fans were still at the ground, probably listening to the speech by the kit washer’s apprentice. We sit, rather drained and befuddled, and contemplate possible away trips next season. Sunderland and Bradford maybe?

 

18. Fri 24/3/17: The Bricklayers Arms, Hightown Road, Luton

Beer: Wantsum Bouclair 4.5%, Flipside Random Toss 4.4%

Out: AJK, Leighton, Steve

Not every evening down the pub is going to be enlightening, and this was one wasn’t particularly. Discussion revolved around the Knockouts rehearsal of Wednesday night, which produced some decent tunes, and potential stage apparel for the band to wear at potential gigs. KO trousers could be made up, and made available as the only thing available on the merch’ stall (we tend to sell bits of crap from a suitcase). My thoughts are of a nice embroidered polo (as opposed to polo necked) shirt – though L8s is adamant that the preferred logo be of a mod/ska man (like off of Two Tone records) kissing a pair of balls, over the legend “Kiss the balls”. Steve arrives late and leaves early.

The beer is decent. I can’t remember. I wrote the unlikely Wantsum BOUCLAIR in caps in my notebook – but can’t find any mention of it on their website. I moved onto the Flipside quite early… and think that’s the one pictured.

487a. Fri 28/9/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Portobello Carnival Pale Ale 4.5%
A rather pedestrian night in The Bricklayers. Suits me and TPK fine, until the conversation and craic at the bar cut through, then rapidly gets a little overwhelming. As it can do at times.

PS is out, trying to round people up for The Bear Club. We decide, instead, to hit either The Great Northern, The George or The Wheelies, depending on which one looks less bad. PS advises the band on at The Bear has 'funk' in their name, but - surmises PS - 'they're not a funk band'.

125. Mon 3/7/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Canopy Beer Co Hamlet 4.4%, Dow Bridge Ratae’d 4.3%

A week or two late – it’s the Rex Horton Quiz Teams’ Summer Solstice quiz at the Brickies. The starter round is name the pictured young women who have featured in FHM’s Sexist Lady poll. Bad start – and it didn’t get markedly better.

The low point was the question “how many streets are there on a Monopoly board?” What do they mean by streets? Me brother was sure it meant any potentially residential property – whereas I thought it meant those properties which were streets (i.e. Bow, Regent, Bond… Oxford etc). My brother was right, apparently, according to Mary Quizmistress – that caused ructions throughout the quiz playing populace generally, while debating the point stirred an argument within the RHQuiz team. Kingstons and Whitings at each other’s throats. Monopoly has been the cause of family disharmony for generations.

We all made up, in the end. My best contribution was an eight point haul for the answer “Johnny Depp” on clue two (I suggested him on the first – “born in Kentucky 54 years ago” - for 12 points). And I drew a beaver.

Rex Horton finished in 5th place, with a disappointing 90 points (100 being par).

 

109. Fri 2/6/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Milestone Mild 4%

Post gig (Barton/Stoneman Quintet at The Bear) – back to The Brickies. My notes get less coherent, but they’re mercifully brief. They are (verbatim):

Arguing. 60s pop. Beatles, Dylan, Who, Moon

Sexy cats (house cats – pre-spay)

Plans for Praha

My odd lens. What the f*ck does it do?

See pic. It apparently plays tricks with light and focus. I must have had the lamp that night – but see pic, of the same kind of mild, from our first visit dans L’Briqs earlier in the evening. Quite interesting… colour has come out nice. I’ll have to dabble anon.

300. Fri 9/2/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Banks & Taylor Crooked Hooker 4.7%

Arrive at pub to find Leighton in the back bar chatting to Wes, Leighton, as has already been mooted, is a sociable guy. Wes is a decent fellow too; when my brother returns from a Hat Factory screening of Duck Soup we embark on a brief conversation on early twentieth century European cinema ("Nosferatu, of course” is my contribution to that one), while Leighton runs through the classics that he owns on DVD, and has never watched.

He goes on to produce a filling, the size of a small pebble, he’s dislodged from a back tooth.

We play the quizzer, specifically Hangman, until the machine decides it doesn’t want to play anymore and crashes. Wes leaves soon after – having arranged on phone to meet his wife outside.

The conversation gets bawdier after Wes departs. Is fellatio acceptable for vegans?

We discuss how, not having seen him for so long – and his not looking well when we last did - that our old (very vague, and not un-problematic) acquaintance “No Offence” is probably no longer with us.

Plans for Knockouts (see above for last concert appearance, though now thankfully off the Mamas & Papas theme) is that, since we’ve never had – and are unlikely to get, a Radio 1 session, we ought to release a record as having originally been recorded as an Ethan Brains session for Radio 1. Not sure who came up with the name Ethan Brains, but it was funny at the time.

The beer is good, but too strong – I should have had gone for something a little weaker after the first couple, but didn’t… and I didn’t feel too well the following morning as a result.

172. Fri 29/9/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Island Yachtsman 4.2%

The pub is very quiet, and quite dim. We play the quizzer. I bring the 1973 film The Three Musketeers up for discussion; I’ve recently watched it, having videoed it from one of the film channels. All-star cast – rubbish film. Michael York in particular, in my opinion is (always) woeful.

To be fair, the trailer looks pretty good - Ed

We go on to discuss hair growth with Brad. He’s growing his hair. We discuss North Korea (what are they thinking?), Luton Town, The Beatles (specifically how much better they’d have been if John Lennon was replaced by Liam Gallagher), Arndale, Sitges, Benidorm, Hendrix at Monterrey, Dolenz at Monterrey…

A sole Scand’ Hatter is circulating, noisily, around the pub. He’s the fellow who, on a previous (again, apparently solo) visit, offered me £50 for the LT badge I was wearing on my Harrington collar. It’s a nice ‘50s example, of the boatered player in black and white strip kicking an oversized football. I didn’t sell it, out of principle. I relay the anecdote to my brother, who suggests I probably should have.

431. Fri 15/6/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Shardlow Narrow Boat 4.3%

Come in (slightly later than I’d wanted/expected) halfway through the second half of Portugal v Spain in the World Cup. The games/teams I’ve seen thus far have been very ordinary – but these are two exceptional sides. Ronaldo is, of course, the best player in the world but – I suggest – even if he played for the Town, you couldn’t love the arrogant sod. He’s scored two already – Portugal are 3-2 down – he buys a free kick just outside the area and scores a beauty. Like he does.

Steve and me brother out – bearing birthday gifts, for me, which is nice of them. It’s my birthday on Sunday.

The talk is of Clod Magazine (next issue out soon) and The Knockouts.


I take lots of pictures using the bulb/manual setting on me camera – a mainstay before I sussed out the “no-flash” setting, which makes life easier and photographs generally better. The bulb can be ok but, at my level of expertise, results are patchy and invariably too murky. I don’t know… there may be one or two goodies (amongst masses of murky underexposed rubbish).

The excitement of the World Cup is replaced later with boring bloody golf – presumably live from some part of the USA. It’s bright and pristine and deadly bloody dull; and seems to kill the mood completely.

387. Fri 6/4/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Rudgate Ruby Mild 4.4%

Come to the Brickies straight from work where I’ve been busily trying to catch up with these write-ups (I’d reached, by that time, no.331 – in Cadiz).

My brother is there already, and gives me a gift: an OS map of Luton from 1879. Very interesting too.

Johnny Harper is out. Lydia is working silly hours this weekend. It’s good to see him out on a Friday.
He suggests we produce a podcast, nay, a “Clodcast”. It’s around 10:30pm by the time that’s mooted and, well into our cups by then, must’ve seemed a good idea. Looking back… I fail to see anything good, but then John’s the visionary in this case.

203. Sat 14/10/17: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Nethergate Suffolk County 4.1%
LUTON TOWN 7 STEVENAGE 1

High spirits back at The Bricks; the football went reasonably well.

The pub is quite packed, and so we wander outside and discuss the possibilities of catching the Mlada Boleslav v Bohemians 1905 football match in Czech in a months’ time.

Other than that – discussions revolve around the football and how, despite being prone to a gaff now and again (once or thrice a season) we love our captain Cuthbert. There’s hilarity over the fact that John’s new pet dog has had, and severely chewed, his new £2K hearing aid. There’s then an ongoing critique of one of these bleak Scandi detective TV series – that I’ve never watched.

And with that passing over our heads – Steph and I head off toward Asda.

174 Sat 30/9/17 : The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Black Country Brewery Pig on the Wall 4.3%

LUTON TOWN 3 NEWPORT COUNTY 1

Post-match pints. The pub is already reasonably populated, and notably by a group of Bricklayers’ regulars all dressed in suits (complete, in many cases, with LTFC ties) preparing for a memorial visit to the St Albans Masonic Lodge, latterly frequented by a sadly departed member of their brethren. They stand in a big cluster (they’re big blokes) before being mini bussed out to Hertfordshire.

There’s Chelsea v Man City on the telly too – so there’s quite a few polyester Prem’ fans in, cheering on the television. We look down on that kind of fan… but they don’t have a match to walk back from, so get in first and grab all the seats. We stand outside, until it rains, then we come back in.

Match was good (Town 3-0 up at half time, then decide to make heavy weather out of it). John is in good form, the beer is good and Steve is looking better.

Steph and I are flying to Alicante (en route for BENIDORM) tomorrow.

127 7/7/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

 Beer: Cotleigh Tawny Owl 3.8%, Milton Justinian 3.9%

Another hot day/balmy evening. Too warm to sit inside, particularly as there are two rather big and sweaty (and progressively pungent) chaps ensconced in the back room, so we go outside.

Lovely to have Johnny Harper and Paul the mod Fuller out – haven’t seen them in a while. John is full of job insecurity, but in good form – swearing like a f*cking trooper. Paul is full of renewed hope for the Left.

It’s dark: I’m wearing old prescription contact lenses and have no reading glasses – so notes are minimal. The pictures hopefully convey some feel of the hot summer evening… they’re not brilliant though.

27 Fri 7/4/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Nethergate Green and Pleasant Land 4.3%, Milestone Maid Marion 4.3%

Arrived at 8:30pm, brother and Leighton and Dr No all in attendance. No Offence is now on first name terms with Leightron, and in some tenuous round share and fag reciprocal arrangement. He has issues. He has suffered offence. He is insufferable. That said, at this rate, he’ll be one of our new mates.

As it is, my brother and I stand at the quizzer, wincing at them tales of woe (uncharitably); even feigning a win (by throwing coins in to the “win tray”) to justify our extended stay.

No Offence likes my fountain pen – pretends he’s going to steal it, before reassuring that “I would never steal your pen young man” or “my friend”, one of them.

Pete is in. Like Pete. Pete, it turns out, hails from York. Who, as they say in modern parlance, knew? Pete did, and now we do. Pete is going to The Bear Club after having a couple of pints with us.

Anthony is also in. He’s wearing what looks like an old USSR propaganda poster design t-shirt, but turns out to be piece of merch’ from the band “Mogwai”. I pour scorn on that.

Martin’s in later. No Barry.

140 Sat 5/8/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Brentwood Best 4.3%

LUTON TOWN 8 YEOVIL TOWN 2

Post-match pints. Game was alright. Upbeat walk back to Hightown anyway.

Again, as the mid/late summer sun persists, we sit in the garden. John Hegley is out and admires my notebook and fountain pen (and little fey fountain pen case). I suggest to John that he’s the kind of man who would doubtless carry a notebook (and likely without my affectation about it). He concurs – but is then unable (unwilling maybe) to come up with the evidence. No matter. Mindful that Luton’s Laureate is without a suitable writing implement I present John with a Koh-I-Noor black propelling pencil (the Koh-I-Noor green propelling pencil, I explain, is mine – he’s not having that). John’s grateful – I’m obsequious.

257 Fri 1/12/17: Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Market Harborough Super Hop Mosaic 4.2%

Me brother and I out (Leighton not, and Andy has blown us out).

Nice, though, to be back for a quiet night down the Bricks. We play, and lose, on the quizzer – we look over the blog on my electronic device – I suggest some minor changes. We discuss which is the best song by The Chills. It is, unless you know better, “Oncoming Day”.


We talk about Barry, who passed away while we were in Prague – how our lives would be diminished by his not being available anymore to rush in on last orders – “Barry-time”.

There’s a bunch of “new people” at the only other table occupied in the back bar. They’re millennials. They’re alright… when the effects of the booze kick in, they get a little tiresome. We were the tiresome teenage new kids down the Brickies, probably annoying Barry, sometime before this lot were born.